how BPD changed my life.

[lbh716]

My BPD (now EX) got me pregnant after a month of dating. He showed me such extreme outbursts right off the bat that i considered an abortion. he's stabbed his neck in front of me... .made me watch him punch himself in the face until its swollen and he has 2 black eyes... .has busted my windshield... hit me (while holding our newborn) and so much more! worst 6 months of my life. actually... as crazy as it sounds, the months following our breakup were the worst months of my life.

during our relationship i checked out fairly quickly. i wanted to leave him... .but i was pregnant so i just lied to myself and told myself it would get better after the baby was born and my hormones went back to normal. so i distanced myself and told him i was too tired to do anything with him after work. that i was too exhausted to have sex with him. that i could only see him on the weekends because i was going to work overtime at my job to put money away for the baby. i wasn't a good gf... .but what can i say? i really didn't want to be with him. i wanted to be with "the father of my child" ... .but not him... ya know? if i wasn't pregnant i would have been OUT!

so when i was 6 months pregnant he left me for another woman. he had gotten a new job and found a girl there. but she was actually bi polar and they only lasted maybe 3 months. fast forward to now... .

our son is 13 months old. he just told me 4 weeks ago that his girlfriend is pregnant. she is due NEXT MONTH. he got her pregnant a couple weeks before asking her to be his girlfriend. JUST LIKE ME. that is ___ing crazy. he told me he never wanted anymore kids! and this b___ is pregnant.

to sum my ex up he is SEVERELY DEPRESSED... .VERY angry. possessive. clingy. controlling. EXTREME fear of abandonment. anxiety.

[Turkish]

Hi lbh716,

I wouldn't view you as a bad gf, but rather the victim of domestic violence. Are you and your baby safe right now? Is he involved in your child's life at all, or is he focused on his new one?

Turkish