Self Sabotage

[EaglesJuju]

I understand this strategy, but don't you both think that it might be a little... .backwards?

What if you don't advance? Do you think that you'd then feel guilty for not helping others?

Although I do like the suggestion, it may in fact make me feel more guilty for not helping others if I do not advance.  It is convoluted, but it can be adding more guilt when there is already so much guilt present.

I really have four choices on how I should tackle this problem: solve the problem, change my feelings about the problem, tolerate the problem, or do nothing. I don't want to tolerate or do nothing. Solving or changing my feelings about the problem are in my best interest.

A way of looking at it could be, if I try ___ it may help me hone ___ skills, which can help improve ___  and can improve my work/education. If I hold myself back because of guilt never try doing ____ then I may not have the opportunity to hone _____ skills.

[valet]

That sounds like a totally appropriate way to deal with those thoughts. I like the reasoning.

To me, this definitely seems like a solvable problem. I think that the pro's of trying will outweigh the cons. If you find yourself in a state of failure (say you don't advance yourself career wise), you can then accept those feelings, ride them out, and then continue trying new strategies of improving yourself.

Things do come and go, and sometimes things don't work out as planned. We all know this from our relationships, of course, but it's all something to keep in mind about anything, really. In other words, it might be hard to suffer the setbacks if you're feeling guilty about trying. A self-sabatoging circle triggered by one bad experience at the beginning of self-improvement.

Can you prepare yourself to handle them (the setbacks) as well, and still keeping going at it (for yourself)?

[Blimblam]

the demands of the superego or inner critic can by their very nature never be satisfied. The doings of xy and z to feel good about ones self which essentially are to satisfy the inner critics terrified infantile demands are always fleeting. Remember, they can never be satisfied and that engulfing anxiety will once again return. It sounds like on some level you already know this though and thus the indecisiveness because no matter what you choose it will never satisfy the inner critics demand and the guilt is just that awareness.

The inner critic makes the vulnerable child responsible for its own lack, a bottomless pit of endless demands. When ones identity is fixated on trying to satisfy those demands things like "procrastination," take on a negative connotation because the inner critic demands unlimited motivation to appeasing its endless demand of  filling the abyss, the void, the lack.

You saw the lack, I showed it to you and you denied it as yourself. The thing is that was your 'real self,' that thing we often refer to on here well that was it.

Accept the lack don't let the stupid inner critic make you feel ashamed of it because its not ever going away.