Phone conversation with uBPD Mom

[Our abuse recovery guide]

A little background.  It's in my previous posts but they are far and few between.

My Mom had knee surgery in the spring to repair what's inside the knee.  It was the week before Easter.  She didn't follow Doctor's orders and now blames the Dr. for it not working.  Although I grew up scapegoat child, I am sometimes almost golden since I went away.  I stayed with her from the day before surgery until a couple days after.  She was pleasant when I was there and took her meds and all.  After I left, she turned into her unpleasant self.  She yelled and screamed at my Dad and told my sister and me that he won't feed her.  Which was an outright lie, he'd bend over backwards and do anything she asked.  And not because he's afraid of her (which he is), but because he's that kind of person.

She didn't follow Dr. orders.  Had a fight with her Dr. over why it wasn't getting better and got changed to a new Dr.  She now thinks that she is going to get knee replacement.  Her appointment with new Dr. isn't until later this week. 

All I've heard the last few months is how bad her knee hurts and how she can't do anything.  I do understand about sore knees, I have arthritis in one of mine too.  I was at one point where I almost couldn't walk.  Fortunately, one steroid shot got it back 90%.  So I can empathize with the pain.


So tomorrow is my birthday.  If you see my posts from a couple years ago, my parents seem to think they need to come here every year and take me to lunch on my birthday.  Which kind of ruins it, hearing my Mom abusively belittle my Dad and complain about anything and everything the whole time.

I had not heard if they were coming this year or not.  I usually put them off to a different day so I can at least have a peaceful birthday.  I was also not looking forward to my "birthday phone call". where she'd call and say "happy birtday, my knee is hurting me bad, I need surgery, your Dad is <whatever her complaint of the day is"    all of her complaints bookended with happy birthday.

Maybe I'm off the hook for both.  Mom called tonight.  I picked up the phone and she said "I'm sorry my knee hurts too bad for me to go there for your birthday."  So she got it all in one sentence!  But I got the call already, so maybe she will totally leave me alone tomorrow to celebrate in my own way.

[todayistheday]

A little background.  It's in my previous posts but they are far and few between.

My Mom had knee surgery in the spring to repair what's inside the knee.  It was the week before Easter.  She didn't follow Doctor's orders and now blames the Dr. for it not working.  Although I grew up scapegoat child, I am sometimes almost golden since I went away.  I stayed with her from the day before surgery until a couple days after.  She was pleasant when I was there and took her meds and all.  After I left, she turned into her unpleasant self.  She yelled and screamed at my Dad and told my sister and me that he won't feed her.  Which was an outright lie, he'd bend over backwards and do anything she asked.  And not because he's afraid of her (which he is), but because he's that kind of person.

She didn't follow Dr. orders.  Had a fight with her Dr. over why it wasn't getting better and got changed to a new Dr.  She now thinks that she is going to get knee replacement.  Her appointment with new Dr. isn't until later this week. 

All I've heard the last few months is how bad her knee hurts and how she can't do anything.  I do understand about sore knees, I have arthritis in one of mine too.  I was at one point where I almost couldn't walk.  Fortunately, one steroid shot got it back 90%.  So I can empathize with the pain.


So tomorrow is my birthday.  If you see my posts from a couple years ago, my parents seem to think they need to come here every year and take me to lunch on my birthday.  Which kind of ruins it, hearing my Mom abusively belittle my Dad and complain about anything and everything the whole time.

I had not heard if they were coming this year or not.  I usually put them off to a different day so I can at least have a peaceful birthday.  I was also not looking forward to my "birthday phone call". where she'd call and say "happy birtday, my knee is hurting me bad, I need surgery, your Dad is <whatever her complaint of the day is"    all of her complaints bookended with happy birthday.

Maybe I'm off the hook for both.  Mom called tonight.  I picked up the phone and she said "I'm sorry my knee hurts too bad for me to go there for your birthday."  So she got it all in one sentence!  But I got the call already, so maybe she will totally leave me alone tomorrow to celebrate in my own way.

[NinjaKitten]

Happy Birthday!

Hopefully you're off the hook and can just enjoy your day.  I'm not sure it's the best method of handling the BPDs in our lives but when my mom goes off on one of her "others" or paranoia rants I politely tell her I have to do something and hang up.  I know I've reached a limit on being able to deal with her paranoia and it keeps me from going insane like I used to after conversations. 

Is there any way you can just talk to your dad?

[Kwamina]

So today really is the day  Happy birthday todayistheday!

I hope you have a great day today and won't have to deal with any BPD antics.

Take care