Endless rounds

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Sent a few drunk texts to me with kisses and flirtyness and how she has feelings for me. Within 15 mins, script had flipped 180 degrees and next 90 mins was spent well... .everything i have done wrong to her. And in the fight she inserted that she is seeing someone else. I had an idea for weeks because she had really decreased her texting me. Maybe once a day or not at all. And I knew this behavior after seeing it happen a few times. And fights with me is always how she brings up other men.

but i knew she would be talking to other men. her daddy's been trying to marry her off for 10 yrs. as soon as her wedding got called off in march... .two weeks before her wedding, he started looking for her. it didn't take her more than a few hrs of wedding being called off to message me... .her first message in 8 months... .when she had told me she is marrying this guy (whom she actually hadn't met when she had decided to marry him).

we are in such low contact that i don't understand the point of today's fight. or flirtiness. i know her 15 yrs. 10 of them as very close friends. 5 of them with her craziness. and i still can't seem to figure out what was the point of today's eruption - besides wanting drama or letting me know of her newest object of interest.

[elessar]

Sent a few drunk texts to me with kisses and flirtyness and how she has feelings for me. Within 15 mins, script had flipped 180 degrees and next 90 mins was spent well... .everything i have done wrong to her. And in the fight she inserted that she is seeing someone else. I had an idea for weeks because she had really decreased her texting me. Maybe once a day or not at all. And I knew this behavior after seeing it happen a few times. And fights with me is always how she brings up other men.

but i knew she would be talking to other men. her daddy's been trying to marry her off for 10 yrs. as soon as her wedding got called off in march... .two weeks before her wedding, he started looking for her. it didn't take her more than a few hrs of wedding being called off to message me... .her first message in 8 months... .when she had told me she is marrying this guy (whom she actually hadn't met when she had decided to marry him).

we are in such low contact that i don't understand the point of today's fight. or flirtiness. i know her 15 yrs. 10 of them as very close friends. 5 of them with her craziness. and i still can't seem to figure out what was the point of today's eruption - besides wanting drama or letting me know of her newest object of interest.

[SouthernMama]

I always used say my ex-BPD had to have options A,B,C, etc in case things went South. If you weren't responding in a loving, needy way, she painted you black. It IS possible to be friends w/ your ex-BPD. I was for 9 years after the divorce. I put up many boundaries, and was able to support him. He became detached my from me in a way that I was no longer subjected to his rages. I was a steady emotional guide who helped him.

The next time she drunk texts you, do not respond. Or simply say, "I will talk when you are sober."

[elessar]

That is impressive of you to be friends with him without expectations. I haven't been able to handle that.

It was a total split black episode. I have learned that if she is raging, to stop replying after sending a good message. There was a family emergency at home yesterday and it was a 20 hour silence from me, and that resulted in a 33-text abuse and complete split black. In a gap of 24 hrs she went from "I am so excited about our trip" to "I am done with you for good".