I Miss Her and I Shouldn't

[WhatJustHappened?]

It's been several months of no contact and I miss my exBPDgf. I want to text her telling her that I miss her which would be bad and I won't do but nonetheless it's still hard. I miss the intensity, the attention, the passion, the sex, everything!

I have to keep reminding myself what this tornado did to my life in hopes that this subsides. It's just hard.

Just when I think I'm over her, these feelings keep popping up. It doesn't help that I have had a couple of cocktails either

I'm hoping someone will post something profound and helpful LOL

[HappyNihilist]

Why 'shouldn't' you miss her?

You're grieving, detaching, and healing from a relationship - a dysfunctional one, at that. It's perfectly normal to not be over your ex. Any serious relationship that ends leave behind sadness and pain, but detaching from a disordered relationship is even more complex. Even when we know that the relationship wasn't good for us, we still miss our exes - especially the 'good parts.'

Let yourself feel your feelings, and don't tell yourself that you 'should' be over her by now. It takes what it takes. 

Is anything in particular making you want to text her and tell her you miss her right now?

[WhatJustHappened?]

Thank you for the quick and rational response. Appreciate it. Nothing in particular, just miss her and the feelings I had for her. I just wanted her to know and I can't even explain why.

[rotiroti]

Thank you for the quick and rational response. Appreciate it. Nothing in particular, just miss her and the feelings I had for her. I just wanted her to know and I can't even explain why.

Perhaps you would like to hear her say those same words, that she misses you and that the love meant as much to her as it did for you?

If this rings true for you remember that for a pwBPD, the emotions they feel are real as they are intense. It's just that consistency is something that is impossible for them to grasp.

And the loving feelings that you feel and all those memories, those are for yours to keep forever and NO ONE can take that away.

It's a beautiful Sunday evening and I know how the mind wanders after a few cocktails  

Did you have a good weekend? What did you do for you?

[WhatJustHappened?]

I'm pretty darn sure that I want to hear the same words and that our love meant the same to her as it did to me. And you are right... .no one can take those away from me and will never be able to. Never.

Yes, I did have a good weekend. Thank you for asking. I went hiking today in Boulder, CO and had a great time. And you?

[rotiroti]

You are a brave man, it's a scorcher in Colorado today!

Went cycling along the Platte and I was way over my head. Should've went to The Great Divide Brewery instead!


Rockies represent!