A BPD Quirk?

[Creativum]

Is it normal for a pwBPD to *obsess*, and I mean *obsess* about someone that left them long ago, particularly when they're alone?

My ex had a friend in high school whom he idolized. They had sleepovers and did standard buddy things. They wound up having sex once in high school, but my ex's friend is not gay or bisexual. They remained friends and then had sex again in their very early 20s, but my ex had taken advantage of him, so, the young man in question abandoned him and ran for the hills.

The young man had "ginger" features, and now my ex seeks out almost exclusively men with "ginger" features (like me!), who resemble his ex.  He still keeps all kinds of photos, videos, mementos around from his time with this person. My first BPD ex had a similar quirk.  He sought out the same kind of men who reminded him of his older brother who shot himself in the head in the back yard, and then, when I left him, I noticed my replacements all looked strangely similar to me.  Oh yeah ... .my ex is also keeping all the things I gave him during our relationship (cards, etc.) ... .and my replacement? Ginger features. Is this normal?

[Turkish]

Some people are quirky in this manner, if you want to call it that, or just a preference for a specific phenotype. Maybe he just likes redheads? I get the feeling that you think there may be some attachment-related thing going on here though. I have a childhood friend who has Asperger's, has narcissistic traits, and is also a sex addict. He similarly obsessed over women who looked like a severe crush on in high school. He ruined his marriage over it.

Phenotype matching has some basis in regards to attachment to family. The story of your first Ex may demonstrate this (what a sad story... .)

Turkish