Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
June 27, 2024, 04:23:02 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Leaving the relationship with minimal fallout ~
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Leaving the relationship with minimal fallout ~ (Read 358 times)
sarahs862
Fewer than 3 Posts
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 2
Leaving the relationship with minimal fallout ~
«
on:
September 16, 2015, 08:24:39 PM »
So I have decided to leave and cut contact after less than one month of dating. Now I hear this is the tricky part- she is full of anger and has created a whole alternate universe where I am an evil doer who used and abandoned her- guess theres no way for her to just go away quietly?
Logged
enlighten me
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3289
Re: Leaving the relationship with minimal fallout ~
«
Reply #1 on:
September 17, 2015, 02:59:52 AM »
Hi Sarah
There is no crystal ball that can show you how she will react. All you can do is try to reduce the collateral damage.
Do you have mutual friends? Will it affect your job? Is there anything she can say that can cause you problems?
If you do have mutual friends then they will take sides. The ones that believe her version probably thrive on drama so you may want to review if you want that sort of person in your life anyway. Some will just be caring and will buy into her tale. The best way to counter this is to be yourself. Don't lash out or seek revenge. By being the bigger person your exs version will probably be seen through and some of these friends will drop her and come across to your side. Actions speak louder than words.
If your job could be affected then have a word with your supervisor if you can trust them. Forewarn them what is happening. This will prevent you from being caught on the back foot and your boss will see it as troublemaking behaviour on their part.
If it is something personal then that all depends on what it is. Some people have not told anyone of their sexual orientation so this can be a potential problem if their ex decides to tell the family. Others have committed a criminal act so fear getting in trouble with the law. These Im afraid are down to the individual to decide what they want to do about it.
My best advice is to say it wasn't working and leave. Don't get dragged into the drama. Don't react, retaliate or add any fuel to the fire. Only defend what you need to defend. If a smear campaign starts that can affect you and has no validity to it then a polite email saying that if it doesn't stop then you will be seeking legal action will probably be enough to drive it back underground where only her few followers will be able to grumble about you.
EM
Logged
sarahs862
Fewer than 3 Posts
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 2
Re: Leaving the relationship with minimal fallout ~
«
Reply #2 on:
September 17, 2015, 03:27:12 AM »
Thanks EM, she works with some of my coworkers and has signed up to attend an event I'm running next week- best case is she doesn't show but since our new CEO is being introduced at this event I may say a brief word to him in case she does bring drama, appreciated your input. Sarah
Logged
enlighten me
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3289
Re: Leaving the relationship with minimal fallout ~
«
Reply #3 on:
September 17, 2015, 03:52:54 AM »
Hi Sarah
Its all about covering your back. They can be unpredictable so there is a good chance she wont do anything more than grumble to your co workers. The more they feel threatened the mor they react.
I forgot to say Welcome to the family
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Leaving the relationship with minimal fallout ~
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...