My mind is playing tricks again

[jq46810]

She started ringing again, called the other night at 3am a lil drunk and abused me and accused me of being unfaithful. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Now all weekend my brain has been wondering how she is supporting herself financally. Before me she was supported by a married man at around 1k pw, now i know she was faithful to him even though he had wife and kids and just used to stay once a week.

Sex is sometjing she does not give out freely and she used it with me to hook me in, if im honestit wasnt until the benifits were floing that the tap got turned on, the sad thing is at the end she has poisened what to me was a good memory by telling others and me that i forced to do demening sexual acts against her will regularly, which is not true.

I know i shouldnt let my mindgo there but she reacted quiet strongly the other night when i asked if she was back out on the sceneand she even let slip that if she was and she had gone toher exs bar it was none of my business.

Now my mind s pkaying tricks on me and i wonder if she has hit him up for money and i wonder what she mayhave offered him.

How do you think i could get her to honest because to me that would be s deal bresker and a real chance to break from her.

Please note i am sure she has been faithful to me for 3yrs and to him for 5. She is a very sexual person but its kind of wierd she uses it for attention but repulses her to be called sexy and i know she wont hand it freely

How can iget honesty here, i need it.

[valet]

Hey there jq, it sounds like you're very confused about your ex's behavior. I understand the circular thoughts that happen after the relationship ends.

From what you're saying I'm going to guess that you are very worried about this other man, and especially what their 'deal' seems to be. Perhaps you want to know how real it is, and if your ex still holds you in a higher regard. It's alright to want honesty from her about their relationship. That's totally natural. At some point everyone here has wanted to be right about something, and it is often more difficult when you don't feel that you can be certain about the facts.

I want to point out, however, that although it seems like her relationship with the other man may reflect on you, it does not. You are not responsible for how she behaves or the decisions that she makes. Those are hers, and hers alone.

What exactly would you like her to be honest about?

[jq46810]

I need closure

If she has moved on and slept with someone else i deserve to know.

I was doing well NC with her for 6 days then she rings and im back to square 1

[enlighten me]

Hi JQ

It took months before I even heard my exgf had a new boyfriend. It didn't surprise me though.

Finding out about him gave me that final push towards detachment that I needed so I can understand you wanting to know.

Personal things like sex very rarely come out so unless she tells you or someone else does chances are you will never know. For this you need to come to something that helps you. For me it was my exgf has probably slept with someone else by now so its definitely over. This has the double benefit of if it does come out that she did sleep with someone then it didn't come as too much of a shock.

EM