A strange MC appointment

[Cole]

BPDw and I went to see a new marriage counselor. We have not tried MC in a couple years, W usually paints the counselor black in first visit and it goes downhill from there.

This one she likes and cannot wait to go back to, though our first appointment left the poor fellow confused. She said she wants to fix our marriage, and that she thinks it is over and hopeless. She said she is out of the relationship, yet wants to work on it. When she was asked what she likes about me, she went on so long he had to cut her off. Then she said she is mad at me but has no idea why. He has his work cut out with us.

On the way out, I stopped to pay and schedule the next appointment while W went out to the truck to call the kids. Counselor noticed she was not there, leaned over and quietly asked, "Have you ever heard of a book called Walking on Eggshells?" I looked at him and asked if he thought she was BPD. He said he does not like to use labels, but if he was going to, that would definitely be the one.

He is going to talk to W's personal counselor after the appointment (which we agreed to allow). Hope they can work together to help her and us.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[formflier]

 

Very promising that the two counselors have a relationship and can coordinate.

How long until your next appt?

FF

[IsItHerOrIsItMe]

Wow, that sounds encouraging!  Good Luck,

[Cole]

Very promising that the two counselors have a relationship and can coordinate.

How long until your next appt?

FF

Unfortunately, it will be a couple weeks before we can see him again. She sees her T next week. By then, the two T's should have a chance to compare notes and, hopefully, come up with some ways to help her.   

I thought it was interesting that this guy pegged her as BPD on the first visit.

We saw son's Autism specialist yesterday. W broke down in the meeting. Afterwards and out of earshot, he asked me if we are separating, because she had told him a few weeks ago that we are. I explained she had indeed left, but 31 hours later she called crying and said she wanted to come back. He was not surprised.


 

[Cole]

Wow, that sounds encouraging!  Good Luck,

Thank you. It is encouraging. I think she hit bottom and realized what she needs to do to turn things around, as well as the realization that she wants to turn things around. BPD will always be there, we are trying to find ways to deal with it.