Accusations keep comming

[Depression = 72% of members]

My husband switched to a different medication and is still sort of going on it. He had stopped all accusations and we were getting along with his first medication. He's off the old medication because of a bad side effect and is on week 2 of new medication. Now he has basically hinted, mentioned, brought up casually and outright accused me of cheating on him not only at my job, but at a store that I go to buy groceries that I used to work at and with my hillbilly disgusting neighbor. It's really getting me down and I'm not really sure how to deal with it. It's hard to shake off constant accusations. He used to do this before but he stopped for awhile and interestingly enough when we lived all around people he stopped doing it. The neighbor thing totally blows me away as he is much older than me and repulsive. Has all the qualities I would cringe when looking for mate, just don't get it. It not only depresses me because it is constant but that pretty much just makes me feel helpless because if he is going to accuse me of being with someone like that who isn't he going to accuse me of cheating on him with. It's getting worse and worse, how could things get so much better and backslide so quickly? I have tried Validating and it doesn't really stop him from saying it the next day. He's also caught on and says I'm being fake. Yesterday he was in an awful mood, he has chosen one of our dogs to demonize and keeps telling me he wants to get rid of her  :'( I'm not doing that. When I get a dog it is forever. I just get so sick of never having someone in my corner. He's suppose to be my best friend and he is not any kind of friend these days.

[Cloudy Days]

My husband switched to a different medication and is still sort of going on it. He had stopped all accusations and we were getting along with his first medication. He's off the old medication because of a bad side effect and is on week 2 of new medication. Now he has basically hinted, mentioned, brought up casually and outright accused me of cheating on him not only at my job, but at a store that I go to buy groceries that I used to work at and with my hillbilly disgusting neighbor. It's really getting me down and I'm not really sure how to deal with it. It's hard to shake off constant accusations. He used to do this before but he stopped for awhile and interestingly enough when we lived all around people he stopped doing it. The neighbor thing totally blows me away as he is much older than me and repulsive. Has all the qualities I would cringe when looking for mate, just don't get it. It not only depresses me because it is constant but that pretty much just makes me feel helpless because if he is going to accuse me of being with someone like that who isn't he going to accuse me of cheating on him with. It's getting worse and worse, how could things get so much better and backslide so quickly? I have tried Validating and it doesn't really stop him from saying it the next day. He's also caught on and says I'm being fake. Yesterday he was in an awful mood, he has chosen one of our dogs to demonize and keeps telling me he wants to get rid of her  :'( I'm not doing that. When I get a dog it is forever. I just get so sick of never having someone in my corner. He's suppose to be my best friend and he is not any kind of friend these days.

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[LilMe]

  Sorry this is happening to you! My heart hurts reading about all the pain and hurt we go through. I wonder if you could talk to him or his doctor about the changes since he switched to the new medication? Maybe the dosage needs adjusted. I also know these medications can take a month or two to level out.

My pwBPD randomly wants to get rid of my pets too! He once let my dog follow him 4 miles away from home when he was biking and left her there. Luckily a friend found her. He has insisted we get rid of other pets too. Strange!

I can not validate my uBPDh. He says it is psycho babble and you repeat what someone says so they will know how stupid they sound. Sigh. I mostly just have to detach mentally and watch from a distance without commenting or arguing when I am the scum of the earth to him. I think to myself 'Oh no, the evil one is back' and hope the kind and amazing guy returns soon!

My first husband accused me of having affairs with any man I talked to, even his own brother and father! I think he was just voicing his insecurities and was more about him than me.

It is hard and takes time and practice, but if you can learn to mentally step away from the crazy and stay focused on reality life will be better! Our BPS can zero in on a tiny speck and turn it into a boulder. Don't let their boulder block your view of reality. 

[waverider]

These accusations are coming from a deep seated insecurity.

This could even be from an insecurity of being taken off his previous meds and not being confident the new ones will work. My wife goes through similar episodes whenever something substantial in her life changes. To a pwBPD meds can feel like their lifeline. She feels like they may fail, which means she is a failure, and hence I will want to get away...

Is there anything else that has changed the staus quo other than a medication change?

Most BPD behavior is mor eoften than not triggered by an event of some kind, even if the reaction goes off somewhere else.

[Cloudy Days]

He actually hates the medication and doesn't even want to be on medication. I just have noticed a huge difference in him going off the old one and trying to go on the new one. He is still taking 1/2 a pill so hopefully things will get better once he gets on it fully. I know it isn't about me, I have even told him that before or actually asked him why he doesn't think he is good enough for me to be faithful to him. He never answers me or he will give me some bull answer that he is confident in himself he just isn't confident in me, turning it around onto me again. I've always known it was a insecurity issue, we moved in May and this has slowly started to show up since then and gotten worse as time has gone on. I've basically just been walking away from him lately when he goes off. I have been trying to clean up our home, he has been so disrespectful and lazy since we have moved. I never would have moved to a place like we did if I knew he was going to act how he has been. He throws cigarette butts in the yard, we have two large puppies that are 7 months old and they will tear up trash and he won't pick it up. He is home all day so I come home to this mess and pick it up. He says he is going to do something and it will take him a month to even attempt to do it. It drives me crazy, I have to spend all of my time at work and he is at home doing nothing. What I wouldn't give to be home instead of working every day. I could get so much done. Then he has the audacity to accuse me of being with someone else when all I want to do is be at home. I told him every day I look forward to coming home and he a lot of the time will ruin the one thing I am looking forward to.