Left Relationship with a BPD after 5 yrs

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I am not the same person i was after my 5yr relationship with my BPD spouse/girl friend.  I do not have the confidence nor the desire to get involved with another woman.  I feel like i have been abandoned and my indentity stolen.  I know i am co-dependent and have had therapy.  Did not realize just how bad my co-dependecy was until this relationship finaley ended.   Not looking for a miracle, just someone to talk to that has been in my shoes.

[grambini]

I am not the same person i was after my 5yr relationship with my BPD spouse/girl friend.  I do not have the confidence nor the desire to get involved with another woman.  I feel like i have been abandoned and my indentity stolen.  I know i am co-dependent and have had therapy.  Did not realize just how bad my co-dependecy was until this relationship finaley ended.   Not looking for a miracle, just someone to talk to that has been in my shoes.

[enlighten me]

Hi Grambini

Welcome to the family

I don't think any of us are the same people after a BPD relationship. I also can relate to not being interested in getting involved romantically with another woman.

If your looking for someone that has been in your shoes you have come to the right place. I can understand how frustrating it is when you are trying to explain what you have been through an others just dont get it. I found it such a bitter sweet relief to find this site and read so many stories that I could have written or that could have been written about me.

One thing I would like to add is that it does get better and slowly you get back to close to who you were only a little wiser.

[Sluggo]

Grambini,

I am totally different than I remember myself also.  I am more boring, don't have relationships outside of work, and on edge a lot with my kids.  I allow my wife to control my free time over the years and it has made me feel somewhat of an empty shell. 

[Herodias]

I feel similar after 8 years with mine... .I don't want to date, yet I don't want to be alone forever. What I have learned is that these  r/s's are there for us to discover our co-dependancy in a big way and finally do the work to deal with it! If you don't see what a big deal it is now, you will repeat patterns just as they do. Knowledge is power! I learn from u-tube videos on co-dependancy and to stop it... .I have been in bad situations my whole life! Only got worse and worse as I went along. I have to learn now. I cannot do this ever again! Rest up and work on you... .it's what you need now. Find friends and family to do things with, so you are not lonely. Good luck... .