the more i learn the less I understand

[jq46810]

I have posted a few times and my ex BPD pntr and i have been apart for 6 weeks now. Prior to the breakup she called the police and tried to have me charged for domestic violence. When she did this i went nc for a week and she was left and went back to her country. Many people plus love letters she left show that this was not her intention and it appears that this may have been a play for financial leverage within the relationship. Regrettably She is back in her country and has spent the time teling everybody that she was controled abused and manipulated she has created horrific stories from being destroyed spiritually to being sexually raped all things i thought i could never ascept but i find after a few days i start to look past her stories as she has been in full rage for a year now stating all sorts of untruths. She is completely dellusional and has managed to gain the support of her old party crowd and is back out with the beautiful crowd drinking and assasignating my character. Up until three days ago she was in contact daily cycling between angry blaming calls "this is all my fault and if cared id financially support her whilst she tries to get better" to depressed calls stating that she cant come back because of my anger and abuse, events that she invented. Her phyciatrists has diagnosed her with Bp, BPD, naurcisism, menopausal and she is showing sign of schizophrenia which her mother developed at this age. Her dellusions of granduer combined  with her inabilty to grasp the support i tried to give is how our dissagreements started. Now im not sure what exactly she is doing or what her intentions are. Her fb site is up and her status is single she has told her sister and friends she is focused on getting her life back on track and being beautiful and independent. Ive email her 4 times asking for closure or at least a civil adult conversation. Each time she call abusive telling me that its over but in the conversation asks me to not date anyone as she is focused on getting better then talking to me about us. I feel like im being strung along and i dont understand her and it clear that she wont be fair. The strange thing is she has never had this sustained strength before, does anyone have any ideas

[ArleighBurke]

"Hell has no fury like a woman scorned... ."

If that was said about a non-BPD woman, can you imagine what a woman with BPD would do? Kind of like what you are seeing. She is venting. She is taking her feelings of pain and rejection and making up facts to support that. She is hurting.

For you, I can imagine it would be very painful and hurtful hearing the false things she says about you.

You don't say whether you wish to get back together with her or not?

    - If so, I suggest taking time away would be good. Stop contacting her. Allow her to cool off and perhaps she will remember some of your good and come back.

    - If you are NOT trying to get back with her, I would also stop contacting her - she will probably never forgive you and I do not think you will get a civil conversation with her.  You will need to find your own closure.

[OnceConfused]

you have emailed 4 times asking for civil adult conversation and what did you get - scorn and abuse.

So how many more times before you get to your limit?

May I quote the lyrics from BLOWING IN THE WIND BY BOB DYLAN:

Yes, and how many times must a man look up

Before he can see the sky?

Yes, and how many ears must one man have

Before he can hear people cry?

Yes, and how many deaths will it take 'til he knows

That too many people have died?

YEs how many more times before you can see the light?