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Author Topic: unstable sense of self?  (Read 426 times)
problemsolver
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 212


« on: October 16, 2015, 06:20:48 PM »

I apologize for my high volume of threads lately, new things seem to pop up in my mind daily... .Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)

So what started the idea of this thread?

Recently I've been seeing some threads speaking about unstable sense of self in BPD... .meaning they may not know "who they are" in relation to clothing , social group , sexual preference etc etc... .

So today my BPDex opened her account from Private to Public. Do I actively seek out her profile to see if she's changed it back and fourth ? No... I've stopped trying to relate things to me or her wanting to get my attention in any case the reason I knew she did this is because in my news feed it said "your friend C & K ... have liked BPDex picture" So I take the invitation... .hmm let's see what's new? It's odd but she seems way different... I don't even remember dating this girl in a sense... / I'm struggling to pin point all the pain that she actually caused me... she just seems brand new. . That's a different thread in itself. . But  what I noticed is she has a lot of new photos with a girl let's say if she has posted 25 in a three week span will see 8 have this girl in it... whether it be at an event or taking a road trip or whatever it may be its just them

Originally I thought nothing of it young girls will be young girls... "I love you , so much" blah blah blah then I start looking at the pictures  closer... the events , fun times, videos, a road trip? "out here with my main girl *couples emoji* *hearts* I'm starting to think what the heck?. then I started thinking deeper and thought wait , is there a possibility this is her gf? Or something like that?

Has anyone seen or experienced something like this? This is essentially a 2 parter I suppose

When I met her - sporty , colorful clothes , alot of earings, pinkish hair...

Switched to a more punk rock kind of look - which switched to a confusing stage where she would wear contacts that weren't a "normal" eye color like a purplish green... which then went back to sporty ... she is now in a classy stage, fewer earings. . Dark simple black / brown hair(according to friends) ... but it can switch on a dime with a septum piercing and snake bites because she has it all...

I'm getting off track but my main point is has anyone experienced major major major changes in your pwBPD? All the changes I mentioned above are in a 12 month span... .also curious about if anyone's pwBPD switched to the opposite sex?  Or would you just put this down as a simple new Idiolized friend/person in her life?

I don't even know why my mind put me in this situation... .I'm such a deep thinker :/

Thoughts?
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AsGoodAsItGets
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 173


« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2015, 07:57:42 PM »

Yes,  not with BPD ex, but I have seen it with relatives, big family and extended family, also friends and myself.  Not with my ex she stayed herself, just changes the people around her.  How is your self reflection going.  Who you want to be, or are.  You could be projecting to onto her.  Most likely not, BPDs have a high percentage of camilian behavior.  Good luck sir.
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Herodias
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1787


« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2015, 08:34:55 PM »

Yes, they are chameleons and change to mirror whomever they are with. I also think they tend to be bi-sexual. A person in my divorce group said that his ex wife always dressed really nice for 15 years... .then one day she told him that when he started to date again, he should live with the person for 6 months before getting married. He didn't understand what she was talking about. Turned out, she had a bf whom was a hippie and she now dresses like one. He said in his eyes, his wife is dead. He doesn't know who this new person is... .It's almost like multi personalities... .Mine now has a southern accent from the gf he is with... .he used to make fun of people with them and put them down for it when he was with me. He is a different person with her. I do believe the behavior is the same though... .he should be starting to gaslight her and rage at her now... .fun stuff! Since she left her husband for mine... .I hope she gets a full dose of it! LOL
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Stolen
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
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« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2015, 09:50:03 AM »

xW's personality change was so abrupt and complete that I wondered if she had a brain tumor. Sexuality, interests, clothes, people she associated with - all totally opposite from what the prior 20 years had indicated.  The only consistent trait seemed to be her rage and unhappiness... .

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