Coping and helping

[Depression = 72% of members]

I'm here because someone I care about is hurting.  I've known she has BPD for a long time but didn't know much about it.  Lately she has been having a really hard time, she's trying to function most days but other days she really isn't doing too well.  I read another post just now about someone worrying that the person in their life might happen on the post and connect the dots, my concern also.  She would think I'm doing things behind her back when I'm really just trying to understand and help. (yes, I did write that just in case she sees this) I know she has been off her meds for about a month, she drinks more than she should, and tells people what she thinks they want to hear. She lives with me so I do see most of her day.  I have had mental health issues myself and have had many years of talk therapy and also take medications.  I am doing really well, better than I ever thought I would, so I do have some insight but her experience is not mine.  I think her husband, my son, also has some issues but I don't know what to peg them as.  She has spoken to me about suicide but always in the abstract, never as a act she would do right now.  I want to know how to help her and to somehow make sure that the professional she talks to gets the full story, not the one that sounds right to her at that time.

Glad to have found this site and plan on visiting often.

[missusbeezley]

I'm here because someone I care about is hurting.  I've known she has BPD for a long time but didn't know much about it.  Lately she has been having a really hard time, she's trying to function most days but other days she really isn't doing too well.  I read another post just now about someone worrying that the person in their life might happen on the post and connect the dots, my concern also.  She would think I'm doing things behind her back when I'm really just trying to understand and help. (yes, I did write that just in case she sees this) I know she has been off her meds for about a month, she drinks more than she should, and tells people what she thinks they want to hear. She lives with me so I do see most of her day.  I have had mental health issues myself and have had many years of talk therapy and also take medications.  I am doing really well, better than I ever thought I would, so I do have some insight but her experience is not mine.  I think her husband, my son, also has some issues but I don't know what to peg them as.  She has spoken to me about suicide but always in the abstract, never as a act she would do right now.  I want to know how to help her and to somehow make sure that the professional she talks to gets the full story, not the one that sounds right to her at that time.

Glad to have found this site and plan on visiting often.

[Kwamina]

Hi missusbeezley

Thanks for making this introductory post.

Living with someone with BPD can be quite difficult.

How long has she been married to your son? And were her issues apparent from the very start?

You mention having known for a long time that she has BPD and that she's off her meds now. Has she been officially diagnosed with BPD and/or perhaps some other disorder? And do you know why she went off her meds?

Her talk about suicide is something I find concerning, even if she only seems to be discussing it in abstract terms. Does she talk about suicide a lot? Can you discern a pattern in the times she talks about this subject, is it perhaps at times that she's particularly stressed or when something she finds difficult to deal with has happened?

Take care and welcome to bpdfamily