I am in a living nightmare

[joel6242]

 I have been in a relationship with a person with BPD for a year and half. At first seemed good and I was shocked that he functioned so well since he came from the foster system. I had dated him for about a month and we moved to Denver together. My best friend help me move and stayed with us, he treated her so poorly and would say horrible things about her to me the entire week she was there. I did not know what BPD was and my best friend begged me to get ride of him. Unfortunately I did not and was put through hell like no person has ever been put through hell. I went from a person that made 500K a year to a person who might not be able to make my mortgage payment in December. There are so many stories but the highlights. Everything I have given him had been sold at pawnshops. I bought him a car, he sold that. L___ also has drug addiction but at the end he was only smoking pot. I went to jail because he said I hit him when I threw his drug dealer out of the house, we just moved to Chicago 2 days earlier. He refused to tell anyone until my friends threatened him. I spent 5 night in  Jail. Lost two jobs and hanging on by a thread with the third on. Then I got a restraining order and L____ got our dog. He called a couple of months later and threatened to sell the dog to dog fighter if I did not fork over $500.00. We would break up every month to two months, very ugly. I am out 50K in legal bills and 15K in medical bills. Got a restraining order for threatening to kill me. And after all of that I gave him one last chance and moved him to Florida with me. One more time in jail and had to get a new restraining order.

I asked him to leave and he told the police I hit him and while in jail robbed me. The depression at first was bad and I drank allot daily to cope. I got a doctor and he sat me down and told me that L____ had BPD and that he would eventually kill me or put me in jail long term. I have had three session with him and it was not until the third time that I accepted the fact. I had a pawn shop call and threaten me because L____ sold his phone and I listed it stolen. I started doing searches of his phone number and found by accident that L____ had been a transvestite prostitute the entire 6 months we were in Chicago. Words can not explain how I feel. There is so much more. I got very angry and retaliated by turning him in for fraud. The good news is that it is true, the bad news is I am now waiting for the return retaliation from L____. This situation has turned me into a crazy person afraid of leaving home. I also feel that if I was just more patient, that things would be better. I feel so bad right now but decided to stop drinking a deal with my feelings. I think this was a good idea. I am completely devastated. I did love this guy but I am sure he was never going to be able to love back. I am afraid that he will try and come back around Christmas, I need strength to say no. I also have started the NO CONTACT rule as of a couple of days ago. You emailed him about the pawn shop and the ad for escort services. Things are a little better today.

[babyducks]

People who suffer from BPD have a serious mental illness.  It is confusing and difficult and very hard to understand if you are not familiar with it.    Among the symptoms of BPD is highly intense emotions that run to extremes.   They have poor impulse control and maladaptive coping skills.   

Domestic violence and physical abuse is fairly common with this disorder.   When there is that much highly charged negative emotion flying around bad things happen.   Take a look at this link:

Borderline Personality Disorder and Physical Abuse

Stopping drinking is a good thing to do for yourself.   Are you getting help coping with all of this?   Any possibility of a therapist?

'ducks