Distinctly indistinct

[Conundrum]

We visit this board for many purposes. However, I'd posit that we all possess the desire to grow--to alleviate suffering and shine on into happiness.

Many, naturally arrive here with fresh wounds--in terrible pain. Sometimes that suffering is overwhelming--even as a bystander who can relate--it shatters my relational precepts when so many seemingly decent people struggle in such dire pain.

Though, what I have learned over the years is that by carrying around that most logical of laundry lists, a scorecard of hurt and blame, it never alleviates the suffering in my heart. It must be let go of--thereby I transcend suffering. And I have.

For as much as we yearn for that ethereal unworldly joining with another--it remains a symbolic crutch preventing us from seeing beyond illusion. For truthfully it is illusion that we cling to and struggle with.

And what is that illusion. It is that we are indistinct from another. Undifferentiated and one. Commingling our identities to such degrees (as liquid is absorbed by the sponge) nestling volitionally into a womb-like cocoon--with our pwBPD.  

But to perceive clearly is to recognize that despite whatever stages of pain and grief one may be experiencing--we remain distinct and will always be. What gives life meaning can never be defined by an attachment to another. It always comes from within.

To abdicate individual sovereignty to the extent that we allow our essence to be annihilated by another is a disservice to self. Life is too precious a gift for that. This world is comprised of good and evil. For every horrific act there is a counter-balancing beautiful act. When you are feeling caught in the grips of darkness, when all seems hopeless and lost, perceive the beauty within yourself. This amazing life filled with potential accomplishment, beneficence, passion and curiosity--no one person has the right to ever take that away from you. Peace and enjoy the weekend.                  

[Eyeamme]

That made my heart feel good. My heart has been so heavy and you just lightened it.

Thank you!

[zundertowz]

I can only speak for myself but when you come into contact with a CB it's a game changer.  I have been around the block a few times, dated losers, liars, and cheaters but beeing in a close relationship with a CB  just changes your view of the world and humans in general.  Luckily for me I didn't completely buy into the fantasy and sort of detached during the relationship but the anger and hurt has just been lingering for way too long.  Hopefully there is some counter-balancing of good coming my way shortly... .but i'm starting to think that people just suck. LOL

[Fr4nz]

Wow Conundrum, your posts are always so poetic... .you're truly inspiring, you know?

You were one of my references during my healing (the other one was the user 2010)... .I read all your posts!

Have a nice weekend you too