sigh, after a year nc broke because her dad died, what can i expect

[emancipated]

i broke up w my BPDex or better yet she left me for a 48 year old man, i have been thinking about her a lot and i see in the news back in the town we shared her dad died. i sent her an email, something brief. Something to the extent hey sorry to hear about ur dad my condolences  to you the kids and ur family. i understand i shouldn't have done it. I can't say this anymore clearly I'm not the knight anymore i once saw myself to be i don't want her back as she is still likely with my replacement. My concern from experience or educated guess what is the gamete of responses i could expect other than no response at all?

[letmeout]

I am betting 'no response at all'. Happened to me after I sent a text of condolence 2 weeks ago, but then again, I didn't expect an answer.

In a way, I'm kind of glad I didn't get one because it would be the same old crazy, different year.

[Learning_curve74]

You sound worried or in distress, is that right? That's perfectly understandable due to the history you and her shared.

As for predicting her response, nobody has a crystal ball. Yet you can still prepare yourself. What would be a "good" response from her and how best do you think you should respond in kind? What is the worst case response from her and how would you like to handle that? And then if you don't hear anything at all, what would you do then?

[Learning_curve74]

Let me add too that there is nothing "wrong" with breaking NC. It sounds like you are being compassionate by reaching out to express your condolences, and that is fine if being compassionate is an important value to you. It's only problematic if you feel it is harming yourself in some way such as delaying your healing. Even then, sometimes we may judge it worthwhile as long as we understand having limits to sacrifice.