Brand new to this need help

[Madmax]

Hi to all,

  For 8 years I've been married to my husband who has BPD and OCD. He blows things out of proportion as most BPD ppl do and I'm at my wits end. We have two kids one biological one is his step daughter. My daughter and him have a very turbulent relationship as he does with majority of family members. His anger and rage are sometimes over the top although it's gotten better since I finally said I am prepared to get off this roller coaster. He feels if we don't have sex when he wants then of course I'm cheating and dislike him. I had a hysterectomy at age 34 and I have no libido and he doesn't understand this at all. I work fulltime as a mental health therapist so the last thing I wanna do is put up with him and his moods or/and behaviour. I'm just looking for support coworkers help me as much as they can however everyone thinks including my family divorce is best. He's been emotionally verbally and at times physically abusive towards me and my daughter in particular.

If anyone has advice for me on how to keep my chin up would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Chilibean13]

Welcome to the board.   You've found a great community. This board helps me so often when I want to throw in the towel. I get great advice, tools, and skills here. First and foremost you need to worry about safety first since DV has been an issue. You can click on the Safety First link to the right. Then check out the lessons.

Even though our SO is the mentally ill one, we have been contributing to some of the dysfunction. Before you can make anything better, you must stop making it worse. I can only fix me and I can't fix him. I can only fix my response to his dysregulation. I can't control him. The lessons are helpipng me see that and hopefully they will help you too.