Hi SummerStorm,
As I read your message I see a lot of triangles, a lot of Karpman Drama Triangles
Karpman defined three roles in the "transaction"; Persecutor, Rescuer (the one up positions) and Victim (one down position). Karpman placed these three roles on an inverted triangle and described them as being the three aspects, or faces of drama.
The Victim The victim in Karpman's triangle is not an actual victim, but rather someone feeling or acting like a victim. Karpman, who had interests in acting and was a member of the screen actors guild, choose the term "drama triangle" rather the term "conflict triangle" because his victim is acting. Nonetheless, the victim sincerely feels victimized, oppressed, helpless, hopeless, powerless, ashamed, and seems unable to make decisions, solve problems, take pleasure in life, or achieve insight. The victim's stance is "Poor me!"
The Persecutor The persecutor is controlling, blaming, critical, oppressive, angry, authoritative, rigid, and superior - self righteous. The persecutor insists, "It's all your fault."
The Rescuer The rescuer is a classic enabler. The rescuer feels guilty if he/she doesn't rescue. Yet his/her rescuing has negative effects: it keeps the victim dependent and gives the victim permission to fail. It also keeps the rescuer stuck in focusing energy on someone else's problems, not solving his/her own. The rescuer's line is "Let me help you."
Karpman's triangle is a simple tool for conceptualizing the dynamics of dysfunctional roles in conflict and for mapping the role changes as the conflict grows.
and here is the link
https://bpdfamily.com/content/karpman-drama-triangleNo one wins in a drama triangle. The only thing you can do is move to the center.
I noticed this
Mom stated that there was nothing bad about my pwBPD's childhood, but my pwBPD says she was sexually abused from ages 10-16. Obviously, this isn't something her mom would mention to me anyway, but it does raise some questions about my pwBPD's story. She's lied about so many other things from her past that it wouldn't surprise me if she was lying about this or exaggerating.
For what it's worth here are my two cents. My partner is also Bipolar 1 and BPD. She can at times appear frankly psychotic. She can become maniac and loose touch with reality. These are symptoms of her illness. In my opinion she is not lying in the classic sense of the word. She is reporting her distorted reality to the best of her ability. In my experience getting to the truth is not as helpful as dealing with the immediate concern of establishing rapport and building trust.
'ducks
