Do I attract BPD partners?

[blackbirdsong]

I am interested to see the distribution of BPD occurrences in our previous relationships. 

[adventurer]

My college girlfriend ended up diagnosed as bi-polar some time after we broke up - full on manic breakdown, conspiracy theory ranting, etc.  She got help & some medication and is doing much better.

After her I dated someone I would say was uBPD.  For some reason I picked up on the push/pull pattern and broke it off after a couple years and the 5th or 6th recycle after I realized the whole relationship was stuck in an endless loop.

After that, 4 years with someone who seemed wonderful at the time, left me and broke my heart - but in retrospect seems to have a great deal of narcissistic traits.

Now married to a uBPD waif for 10 years.

What's the common factor in all these relationships?  ME 

Also, all these women were the ones who initiated contact and the relationships with me, they are not women I active pursued or consciously chose to start dating.

Learning that I attract what I put out into the world and I need to learn to love and heal myself to stop my codependency, stop disregarding red flags and start being ok with being alone.

[thisworld]

As the "proud" child of a narcissistic mother, I have attracted controllers in general. Only one was BPD but a lot of behaviours were similar to a narcissistic ex in a lot of ways. Luckily, it's getting less and less, with more distance between. I have been with emotionally healthy people, too; but controllers and takers (including addicts) have a kind of radar that sense me from miles away I think )

[Mr Hollande]

I count at least three ex gf's with BPD. I only learned about the disorder after the last one which revealed the previous two as as well.

[Tomzxz]

Also, all these women were the ones who initiated contact and the relationships with me, they are not women I active pursued or consciously chose to start dating.

I noticed this too.  Healthy woman have higher self esteem and thus know their self worth.  They don't need to chase men and know men will chase them.  

I tend to ignore the women that seek me out first now. It's just not worth running the risk that comes with what I have learned from painful experience.

[steve195915]

I am interested to see the distribution of BPD occurrences in our previous relationships. 

Out of 5 major relationships that I've had in my life, 3 of the 5 had some sort of mental illness with the common thread that they presented themselves as a victim or needed a savior.  Even the one's that were completely normal were in some distress.  One was in financial distress being left alone with 4 children with no child support, the other emotional and financial distress being left alone with 1 child by a cheating husband so that fit the pattern also of needing a savior.  I would say that 2 of the 4 had strong traits of BPD where the last one didn't have BPD but was in therapy multiple times, never diagnosed but was definitely mentally ill with bizarre traits.

Fits my pattern of being attracted to help people in need and to be a caretaker.  Both pwBPD partners initiated the contact so I believe they can sense people that are more easily a target for manipulation.

[alwaysloving]

Yes big time! She has the same traits as my most current exBPDgf like they copied one another... the only thing is one more more about taking your money where the other did not but she wanted to spend money on you but not looking for a repayment.

But action wise they mirror one another well... Speaking of that the day of my birthday the exBPdgf wished me happy birthday (I have her blocked on FB) And she somehow got a hold of my number and text me... mind you we had a big arrangement about 6 months after when she just wanted to say her stuff to me and never speak to me again and it blew up... So a week ago she wanted to meet up with me and breakfast would be on her to clear the air... she said I know you might not respond or if you do it will be cold... but if you don't then have a happy holiday...

I knew it was a recycle and because of the massive amount of money I was out of $1,000's I blocked her number and never responded... This girl did not like the time we spent out on V-day for $240 she said I rather had a Michael Kors bag instead... .Boy when I broke control that was it... she did tell me she used to cut herself and it all added up...