Hi bc,
Boris may have other suggestions as well but for books, I can recommend
Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, because it is more geared to single people. Dr. Sue Johnson (
Hold Me Tight,
Love Sense) and Dr. Stan Tatkin's (
Wired for Love) books are also informative, but geared towards people in committed relationships experiencing conflict.
I'm curious, too, you say that this anxiety happened after
ending a relationship, and it reminds you of the anxiety you felt after the breakup with your BPDex. Sometimes this question can prompt a connection... .what other situation does this feeling remind you of?
Or, when's the first time you remember feeling this way?
If that doesn't bring up anything, you might try Focusing:
www.focusing.org/sixsteps.htmleeks