Messed up again

[kc sunshine]

I think I messed up again... .I'm trying not to worry about it, but maybe you all could help me make sense of what happened.

Ex:

   Are you back in (our town)?

Me:

   Nope, still with my family. (Our town) still feels a little too raw/painful to face without you . Call you when we're back?

Ex:

   Oh. K. When are you coming back? Will you bring your mom?

Me:

   Not sure, but yes with my mom! (And her great caretaker-- you'll love her!)

   How are you and (her daughter)?

   Ps I'll get (her daughter's) rec sent off this week--could you ask her to send me a draft of her statement so I can make sure what we say jives? It doesn't have to be anything polished!

   Also, maybe a list of her accomplishments/things she's been involved in. I know a lot of them, but I want to make sure I squeeze them ALL in

She didn't reply after this. Was I too heavy with the town being too painful/raw comment? Probably, no? Dang.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[valet]

Hey kc, from what I'm reading I wouldn't say that you made any huge mistakes here. I understand why you might want to be hard on yourself, however. She contacted you and you had a bit of an exchange, then she stopped pretty suddenly.

At worst, it seems that you were eager to talk, and that's perfectly alright, especially with someone that you care about! Maybe she saw this as being a bit too heavy. That's not out of the question.

Remember, you have to be a leader from an emotional perspective. You want her to come to you—relationships have to be a two way street. You cannot force her to respond how you would like. So play it cool. Focus on being positive and fun in your interactions. Show her who you are, away from the burden of thinking about the relationship. It's important to build trust, but it can't happen all at once. She needs to know that you don't have ulterior motives, and are not just exerting all of your efforts on reconciliation.