Fake replacement?

[Depression = 72% of members]

Does anyone have experience with your exBPD just *making up* a fake replacement via social media?  i.e., reposting someone's selfies and claiming that this person is their new significant other, even though it's clear they didn't take any of the photos, and they're never in a photo actually with this person?

[didionit]

Does anyone have experience with your exBPD just *making up* a fake replacement via social media?  i.e., reposting someone's selfies and claiming that this person is their new significant other, even though it's clear they didn't take any of the photos, and they're never in a photo actually with this person?

[thisworld]

Why not? Everyone has rainy days:))

If they want to make you jealous and there is no one around to triangulate with... .

My ex does this with "stories".

[didionit]

It got better.  He already devalued the first fake, and has moved on to a second.

uh-ma-zing.

I wish there were a way to let these women know that their photos are being stolen for this purpose.  The latest fake looks like she's all of 19 (he's just shy of 40).  Gross.

[thisworld]

It got better.  He already devalued the first fake, and has moved on to a second.

uh-ma-zing.

I wish there were a way to let these women know that their photos are being stolen for this purpose.  The latest fake looks like she's all of 19 (he's just shy of 40).  Gross.

This is eye-opening for me. My ex is doing similar things. We are in LC (I'd much prefer NC really but am afraid that he may do something out of proportion) and I get to hear these stories and he is trying to triangulate with every woman he gets into contact - he also says,  for instance, one is asexual but then shares photos in pyjamas with her, hands on each other on a keyboard etc. Just his "life" you know. And he wants to be back with me. A pathetic story altogether (he is narcissistic as well).

He is 36, his online thing consists of these young women. I know, really gross.

Still, they are not our priority right now. Everyone putting photos on the internet takes the risk that they may be stolen for whatever purpose. It's not nice I know, it's repulsing. You can deal with it later if you like but at the moment, it's your own well-being that has to matter. (Plus, sometimes there are strange outcomes, girls may even like that and want to meet him, fall for him. I think we should just focus on ourselves for the time being and rescue ourselves. We will have a lot of time for everything else, if we want to.)

[didionit]

An excellent reminder 

And yes--exact same behavior.  And in the past, if I'd confronted him about it, the same response:  "what, it's just my life, you didn't want me, I'm meeting new people", while at the same time saying that he'd leave any one of them to get back together with me, and the fact that he's seeing these women is my fault anyway, etc. etc.  Sure.  Your abusive behavior had nothing to do with me leaving--(when I finally went NC, and changed my phone number, well, that's when the rape threats and the visual sexual assault began... .after months of increasingly angry communications and harassment... ).  It always swings wildly between 'you're the love of my life and you killed me and us' to 'you're cold and broken and I'm so much happier with a real woman who knows how to love and who I love'.  C-r-a-z-y.

Which is why I continue to say nothing at all, to keep my life offline and private, and, I'm trying to find productive ways to deal with his abuse.  Like knowing my legal options.  And, focusing on things that make me genuinely happy, with people I actually know in real life (not just stolen photos from the internet  )

[GreenEyedMonster]

Yes.  After my ex learned I had moved on and was dating someone else, he, too, put a mysterious "date" on his party RSVPs.  I didn't go to the event, so I have no idea who is was or if s/he really exists.  I am pretty sure he was triggered by my rejection and had to strike back.

He only did it once and remains active in several singles groups, so I can only imagine that the sole reason he did this was to make me jealous.  All of his RSVPs are solo now.

[Learning_curve74]

Sometimes the most tranquil path is to realize: not my circus, not my monkeys... . 

[borderdude]

BPD and fantasy relationships are correlated. I am sure my BPDex had a fully fledged rs with me long before we officially got together. That was my first big red light.

[Inharmsway]

Strangely I experienced this whilst in the "relationship". I think it was supposedly to make me jealous. Being tech-savvy, I took the pic of the next potential and did a reverse lookup on google, it so happens that it belonged to a random person who posted selfies on tumblr.

Instead of being upset and calling him out on it, i was filled more with sadness for him on how low he had stooped. Almost 2 years out of that relationship and haven't looked back since. I've been ignoring all attempts to reconnect. He sent a generic jokes email which I didn't acknowledge at all.

I even ignored his birthday.

[didionit]

After reading this, I also went and did a reverse image search.  Same thing--he had blatantly stolen about twenty photos from a woman's instagram account, that she'd posted over a year ago, and had recaptioned all of them to make it seem that she had sent them to him/they were dating.  I contacted her (she's an artist with a website and had a contact form) and she had no idea who he was, or that this had happened. 

He's truly psychotic.  It's horrifying.

After I got in touch with her, a few days later, all of her photos were gone from his feed, and, he had replaced them with new fakes.  It's scary to see. 

[thisworld]

He's truly psychotic.  It's horrifying. 

What makes you think it's psychotic?

[didionit]

The complete detachment from any sort of appropriate boundaries, rules, or reality that he's exhibiting is pretty scary.

[thisworld]

The complete detachment from any sort of appropriate boundaries, rules, or reality that he's exhibiting is pretty scary.

You are very right. This scares me a lot about my BPD ex. But I think it's entitlement and a lack of boundaries really. I would think that he is aware that he is stealing someone's photo, that they are not actually lovers etc etc. He just thinks he can manipulate reality this way and he wants to do it and does it. It doesn't make it any better though.

[GreenEyedMonster]

You are very right. This scares me a lot about my BPD ex. But I think it's entitlement and a lack of boundaries really. I would think that he is aware that he is stealing someone's photo, that they are not actually lovers etc etc. He just thinks he can manipulate reality this way and he wants to do it and does it. It doesn't make it any better though.

This reminds me of the addict thread you started, thisworld, and how people with addictive behaviors can use their defense mechanisms to justify (and/or later forget or modify) almost any behavior.