Not sure how I did this but I did. Today, I just want to fix this relationship but in my heart I know I am not the one to fix this. I feel that I have been living on crazy island (or as I like to call it Lunatic Island) for about a year now. Many things have changed in my live during the NC process and I think the hard part is that I am actually moving forward. I am not going into what has changed but it is very positive. I am closing my social media accounts today and am planing on moving. I think the hardest part of this process is admitting that I can not fix this or help. I travel for work 100% of the time for work, this is never good for a BPD person. I do have an offer on the west coast that is 0% travel but again I still do not think I can deal with the BPD behavior, there is nothing new to try.
Yes for me after 180 days NC the hardest part also is moving forward. I feel like I am learning to walk again. Sure your absence due to work probably triggered her but even if you had a job that didn't require travel something else would have triggered her. Good for you for making this wise yet difficult decision. Hang in there.
