Been a while. So tired. I ran away from BPD SO and its not pretty

[Vindikat]

Hello,

Bottom line. I couldn't take the yelling and demanding anymore so I hopped on a bus. I've never done this before. I do have my own place when I get back so that's a plus. I have so far gotten over 200 phone calls 50 emails and my voicemail is full. I've gotten pictures of them crying saying please come home I'm begging you to pictures of all my stuff at there place being thrown out.

There are promises to change and no yelling that of course have been made for years. I'm being blamed for all this uproar and told of course none of this would have happened if I had just did as I was told.

Now because I'm not calling everything is my fault.

I obviously can't run away and am heading back but she is a BPD that stalks and in fact yesterday got a text message from the Manager at my building that BPS SO showed up and things got so bad they had to call the police.

I guess I'm just stunned and don't know what to do next.

We have been together eight years with the last few me just not wanting to be there and it's impossible to leave because she will show up.

She says she wants to go to counseling but will only sign up if I go with her. She has a Psych evaluation scheduled tomorrow for SSI and says she will only go if I'm there.

I feel yet again I am being bullied into doing things.

Any thoughts out there?

[ReclaimingMyLife]

Hi Vindikat,

Sounds like she is trying to take you hostage:  only going to psych eval or counseling if you go, threatening and stalking.

My question is do you want to stay or go?  Your answer to that would point towards how you want to handle the attempted hostage taking.

Leaving can be so very hard.  Absolute commitment is required.  My ex stalked me for almost a year.  It stopped when he got locked up for something unrelated to me.  Not sure what will happen when he gets out.  Fingers crossed.

The book, The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker, gave me both strategy and confidence for enduring and succeeding in the midst of my fears/doubts and his relentless threats and pursuit.  You may want to check it out.   That book, my family,  therapy,  and BPD Family kept me sane and strong.  Tons of work was required on my part and it worked.

Hang in there.   You are fighting the good fight!

RML