So, I haven't been on here in a while. ALot has went down since the last time I pasted.
My uBPDw and I have been rocky for ,well, since we've been together(8 years). Recently, I had implemented many of the tools that are suggested on this site. However, I haven't really gotten anywhere. When I set boudaries, she is the first to tell me "I will leave too if you are yelling, etc." I completely agreed. Well, you know I am the one leaving, right? Of course. Well, even leaving only causes further raging, but if I stay, the abuse continues.
Recently, after a huge fight, I decided that I would see how the next day went with her text messages ( text bombs are relentless and MEAN) and go from there. Sure enough, she starts the text bombs the next morning. I didn't J-A-D-E. It was hard. I simply told her I was going to stay with a friend. SHe replied " probably a good thing! have fun with your friend!"
I went into that Friday with the same idea... can she resist being abusive via text. NOPE! Friday 132 texts devaluing me and just beating me to pieces. So, I sent a text, "staying with a friend again until we can communicate properly!" She blew my phone up all night about everything EVER done wrong to her over the entire relationship. I just couldn't take it.
Going into the 3rd day I knew this is hard for her to stop, but also knew that she would have to stop at some point. SHe started out with normal conversation, but it quickly become abusive , so I said I will be staying with a friend again.
Later that night, she texts 'are you going to help with YOUR house this weekend?" I replied, "absolutely if you can be civil!" There was a lot more blah blah blahing! Lol.
Sunday, I went home. She tried a few things to set up an argument. I resisted and said I will not argue in front of my son again. she stopped.
From then, she was an absolute saint. I could tell me leaving really shook her to the soul! she was The best wife ever for a week. I mean cooked the entire day this past Sunday( I usually cook). REally looked Manic. I think you know where this is going, right?
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Yesterday, while all is good, she texts me how she is stressed at work, hates her job, etc. I text back with positive support and told her to look for another job. I told her that we would go out of town on a trip to relieve stress. I loved her... .blah blah blah. Thought I was doing well!
That wasn't enough! after hundreds of texts devaluing me about how unsupportive I am, I finally got that she is wanting to quit work and go back to school. You know, "any decent man would do that for his wife when her health is deteriorating" barf!
So, now I am getting text bombed for not "supporting" her. I mean, we need her work insurance for our son. I cut back over 30k a year from my money over the last 10 months to be home more in the evening to help with my son. I did this because she beat me up every day about working and not being home more! Now she wants me to snap my fingers and her to be able to stay home and go to school. NOw all of a sudden, " I'm evil, she wants a divorce, I'm a piece of sh*t,
Any input? There is a lot more to this, But I am trying to be brief!
I am really considering a permanent separation, but I really wanted to get her to a therapist first. I am SO SO SO confused!
