I'm feeling weak

[Anez]

So I work with my ex, was away for work all week last week. My brain felt free and I felt like I made real progress. Was back in the office for an hour yesterday and saw her briefly and shared a few laughs. Today I only saw her from afar and we didn't talk at all.

Last night and tonight I was back to checking my phone to see if she texted, something she hasn't done in months, tho as of three weeks ago when I last texted her she was quick to respond with nice texts.

So the progress I made last week feels lost right now. I miss her, I miss texting l/calling every night. I hate how she's been so able to delete me from her life. She discarded me.

Tonight I wrote a text in my head that I'd send to her putting my feelings out there. It's a dumb idea and I won't do it. I'm just so beaten up by the steps back I've taken the past two days.

Why do I still miss her so much?

This just hurts.

[Caley]

Hello Anez,

I can see you're feeling pretty low again.

Y'know ... as unpleasant as it sounds ... it's really quite normal to swing about a bit emotionally. You are healing ... even though it seems like you've taken a few steps back. It is tough and ruminating on things seems to add to the pain but we do it anyway.

It looks to me like you still have hopes to reconcile.

Although you think it has been easy for her to delete you from her life ... things are not always as they appear ... she's very likely having a tough time too ... but able to mask it so it appears to you that you've been cast out without a second thought. These words like delete and discard are pretty negatively charged are they?

Anez ... regardless of what particular flavour personality disorder a person may have, there are very few people that can escape grief ... she will be grieving in her own way. She may be doing her best to distract the process. And, sometimes, people often opt to replace rather than work their way through the grief of a failed romantic relationship ... but, eventually, she'll need to if she isn't doing so already.

Anez ... if you don't mind me saying. These little texts you are sending and hoping for an exchange aren't going to help you get her back. I know it seems counter intuitive because you think by showing that you still care will someday steal the show. My friend, it won't ... she'll maintain her distance and you'll be reeling in the pain for much longer than is good for you.

I feel for you ... your words are full of hurt and longing and hope. It must be even more difficult when you both work at the same company, same floor, office etc., horrible.

There are little things you can do for yourself ... things you might not be used to doing ... things you might at this point see as completely insignificant and want to dismiss as being unhelpful.

As hard as it might seem to be able to accept ... the situation as it is ... simply is. And, doing the things you are currently doing are keeping it that way. I'm afraid to say this because it might come across as inferring that you are the cause and adding more hurt to the hurt. I hope you don't take it that way.

Anez, can you tell me about you? What do you like? Things you have done in the past that have brought you pleasure. Do you read? What type of books do you like? Films? When was the last time you went for a good walk and where did you go? Do you like to travel? Where did you go to the last time you planned a holiday/trip? What makes you laugh? Are you fit? What food do you like? Have you got a sweet tooth or a salty palette? What is you best memory from childhood?

Can you tell me these things?

Best wishes.

[Driver]

So I work with my ex, was away for work all week last week. My brain felt free and I felt like I made real progress. Was back in the office for an hour yesterday and saw her briefly and shared a few laughs. Today I only saw her from afar and we didn't talk at all.

Last night and tonight I was back to checking my phone to see if she texted, something she hasn't done in months, tho as of three weeks ago when I last texted her she was quick to respond with nice texts.

So the progress I made last week feels lost right now. I miss her, I miss texting l/calling every night. I hate how she's been so able to delete me from her life. She discarded me.

Tonight I wrote a text in my head that I'd send to her putting my feelings out there. It's a dumb idea and I won't do it. I'm just so beaten up by the steps back I've taken the past two days.

Why do I still miss her so much?

This just hurts.

If possible, can you change your workplace?

In the meantime, try to meet new people. Go out withfriends after your work and try to get her off of your mind.

Imagine if ever she comes back to you, wouldn't you always have this doubt and pain in your guts that she discards you again?

[Anez]

Thanks for the replies, guys.

I think yesterday I was just having a weak day. Coming back from a week away from the office and seeing her briefly monday and having some laughs then ignoring each other the next day just kind of shook me up a little bit. But i'll be ok, i feel better today. It is what it is.

I don't contact her, she doesn't contact me. And we go on with our lives. I just had some images in my head yesterday of the good times we had and it just kind of messed me up a little bit. highs and lows.

I'm seeing a T every week and working on things to make myself better. And I'm doing some dating, tho nothing serious. Each day you learn something new and it's ok to experience highs and lows.

[Rmbrworst]

Anez, at work right now and can't respond fully.

Send me a pvt message, I'd like to touch base with you.  I'm having similar set backs and want to tell you things I've done and share thoughts. 

Hang in there.  Much love