Still thinking way to much about the ex, learning how to deal with the addiction. NC is saving my sanity and life. Her text saying she has a letter of forgiveness for me but don't know my address makes me think she's looking for a meeting. Umm NO! I don't ever want you in my face or head or heart again
I hear from friends she's hitting bottom, I hope so she can maybe get the help she needs soon. (Not holding my breath)
I'm still confused and run from guilt to shame then anger then pity for her and around and around again.
My son is well without her in his life, I start a new job tomorrow and moving forward. I still miss Miss BPD but... .I realize I feel in love with a lie, a ghost, a fantasy.
I gave her my life, breath, heart and soul... .oops I wasn't suppose to give any of that to her or anyone so my mistake. Lol.
I told her many times, "you will not destroy me" and she didn't, my life is better because I collided with her, (danced with the devil). I am told to pray for her, I'm sure she's praying for me too, she told me she was visiting one of her strange drug friends one day and this friend pulls out a tiny doll and her friend proceeds to cover the doll in oil, my ex asked her friend what she was doing and what was the doll about. It was a voodoo doll of me? I guess? Anyway my ex laughed about it as the magic was being sent my way. What a bunch of NUTS! And yes I don't blame sane people for thinking I'm nuts for even repeating the stories. No wonder we are traumatized
! Good grief
Have a great day! Hang in there! It's them not usssssss
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