New today. Need help with BPD Sister

[Our abuse recovery guide]

I moved  in with my parents. This is to help me adopt a child as a single parent. Just found out my sister who has borderline personality disorder or is going to be moving in with all of us soon... This changes everything.  My parents always side with my sister.  They have so much fear that she is going to commit suicide that  they will do anything for her. They feel so sad for her because she has no friends her daughter won't talk to her my brother won't talk to her and  I am starting to stand up for myself  from her craziness.  She's bulimic,  she digs at her face with her fingernails  leaving big scars.  She had to have her teeth completely redone from bulimic abuse ( stomach acid from throwing up rooted her teeth). She's up for days. And sleeps for days.  She has been dating a married guy who lies to her all the time saying he's going to marry her.  Her boyfriend is so toxic to her yet she's probably toxic to him as well.  I'm so glad I found the site. I need help to cope  and be able to have peace in a toxic environment.

My sister will idealize me until I become her best friend. And then she always breaks my heart. 

[Kar20]

I moved  in with my parents. This is to help me adopt a child as a single parent. Just found out my sister who has borderline personality disorder or is going to be moving in with all of us soon... This changes everything.  My parents always side with my sister.  They have so much fear that she is going to commit suicide that  they will do anything for her. They feel so sad for her because she has no friends her daughter won't talk to her my brother won't talk to her and  I am starting to stand up for myself  from her craziness.  She's bulimic,  she digs at her face with her fingernails  leaving big scars.  She had to have her teeth completely redone from bulimic abuse ( stomach acid from throwing up rooted her teeth). She's up for days. And sleeps for days.  She has been dating a married guy who lies to her all the time saying he's going to marry her.  Her boyfriend is so toxic to her yet she's probably toxic to him as well.  I'm so glad I found the site. I need help to cope  and be able to have peace in a toxic environment.

My sister will idealize me until I become her best friend. And then she always breaks my heart. 

[Turkish]

Hi Kar20,



What kind of behaviors do you receive in response when you start standing up for yourself? Do you feel physically safe? Would you if she moves in?

I imagine this must be extremely stressful especially given the probability that the home you're moving into is likely to be examined by the adoption agency.

Turkish

[Kar20]

She does the idealization phase and it feels like she is in real desperation to win my best friend type of love. I tell her I need space and that makes her tell everyone that I'm mean to her (abuse by triangulation). She threatened me that she would ruin my adoption home study saying "don't tempt me, cause I will". Then cries to my parents saying "All I want is to her to have a baby and look how she treats me".

If i don't give in to her, she would easily punch me or the wall.

I always feel misunderstood when I discuss this with my parents. My parents are in denial. They think the world is mean to her, and have no clue that it is her creating this world on her own that she calls mean.