Ex recently unblocked me on fb

[JerryRG]

I just discovered my ex stopped blocking me on FB

She used to stalk me all the time and I wonder what she's up too? I don't hide any information on my fb account and have nothing to hide. She has always been secretive about her activities and even had guys that she clamed raped her in her friends list. STRANGE STRANGE STRANGE! Going on 4 months NC.

Strange little creature

Another thing I notice that when we were together she suddenly became interested in everything I did, and this new guy she found is a Christian and now she's all of a sudden a Christian, I couldn't get her to say grace when we were together.  Very strange indeed, is she just projecting on him now and is this all an illusion? She sure did that with me as if she has no real core of self and assumes an identity of the people she's with. Hmmm crazy crazy

[FallBack!Monster]

Well yeah.  She has no idea who to be.  She's like everyone she meets.  Maybe in a few months she'll be dating a pimp, then she'll act the part there too.  Anything goes.  Maybe you shouldn't care too much what is happening on her fb. Mine blocked me about 3 months ago and I am glad she did.  Now, I can care less what she's doing.  It's all fake anyway.  If she post something it is just fake and wants you or someone else to think she's living like what she's posting.

I hope you stop caring about that soon.  Good luck

[Herodias]

That is correct- an illusion... .they mirror who they are with, so that person will like them. They can change to be like anyone they are with. Mine was preppy, liked playing golf and having money- didn't want kids. Now he is a "redneck", broke and having a baby with his pregnant gf. He even picked up her southern accent and he is from Connecticut! I have seen this with other pwBPD as well. They can only keep up the mask for so long. It is called Mirroring - projection is when they tell you that you are whatever they believe about themselves. Read about narcissists and it will explain the behavior a bit better. They do have this tendency anyway. pwBPD are all over the place, so it is hard to know what they are really thinking, mine claimed he was raped too. Seems to be a common story. Would not make sense to be friends with a your rapist would it? Usually there are lots of lies. Don't worry about Facebook... .you should probably block her. I swear they use it to learn about people so they can either use it to hook you or against you.

[FallBack!Monster]

Herodias, couldn't have said it better myself.  I LOL when I read the part about the redneck.

[JerryRG]

I think I will always care a little as I have a heart and she's the mother of our son. I just thought I would check and there she is. My daughter says she feels sorry of me ex and believes she is miserable, my family think my ex to be totally psychotic and a socialpath. All I know is she is sneaky and creepy and I'm to a point where I laugh at her, still puzzling to me but hey, I thank God I'm not dealing with this horrible disorder. Just being around her was quite enough for one lifetime.

Thanks everyone for the reply as they attempt to make us krazzy we need help seeing it isn't us.

[JerryRG]

Yes, Borderline Personality is real.

And we are not crazy, they are. Lol

[Herodias]

This is very true... .to not feel crazy ourselves! yes, I see mine as a psychopath as well... He has all of the tendencies. I only wish I could diagnose him! Trust me... The more you learn, the easier it will be to talk with her. Especially since you have a son! You will really need to understand, because it will affect him and you will need to learn how to deal with it. I have read at 5 years old, the kids surpass the parent in mentality! Amazing! How old is your son? Does he see what she is like?

[once removed]

She sure did that with me as if she has no real core of self and assumes an identity of the people she's with.

BPD involves an unstable sense of self. a person with BPD obtains a sense of self by means of attaching. mirroring happens as a result - its something we all do, and its not an attempt to hook us, fool us, or make us like them. its an attempt to attach and become whole, which is inherently unsustainable.

it is why pwBPD are often referred to as chameleons. with an unstable sense of self, your hobbies, your values, your opinions, all the things that make you you and comprise your personality, are lacking.

but it is not uncommon to take on the interests, mannerisms, expressions, etc of a new partner, especially in the honeymoon stage of a relationship. mirroring is natural and part of bonding. but its a good sign in a potential partner when they have all of these things of their own 

[JerryRG]

Hello blueharon.

Our son will be 2 next month, the thing that upset me so bad is fighting her throughout the time since she became pregnant. She protected him like no other from me because she thought I would take him away and he was keeping her sober.

When I cared for him his mother would come over to visit and he would run from her, duck into my lap and hide. NO ONE believed me until his grandmother seen it herself. What does she do? Argues with me that he needs to be with her. Very very frustrating

[Herodias]

Oh JerryRG, that is just heartbreaking... .It is interesting that she stayed sober... .did it start in order  to have a healthy child when she was pregnant? I suppose unless she puts him in danger, there is nothing you can do. Hopefully that is not the case, but I suppose children can really see what is happening. I feel for you... .hope things turn out better than you expect. I do know that she will continue to create drama around him- maybe check into the co-parenting part of this website to see what you can do... Good luck.

[Thegardiner]

Can I suggest you block her FB? It will simply hurt more and more as she will probably block, unblock, block you... .If you block her, you cannot see what she is up to. My ex used FB to set up contact with other guys, I foolishly (not proud) read her messenger section of FB and she was having conversations with guys ranging from flirting to promising to have sex with them and confessing her love. I discovered the purpose through this site and on top she has been frequently taking cocaine with guys and paying for it with sex. Pull out of her life, save yourself.