Pets... I think they know

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

It was brought up in another thread about pets... .made me think. My dog loved him because he would play with her first thing when he came in the door-every day. But later when he would drink, she didn't want to be around him. She hated hiccups! When he realized she didn't want to be around him, he would torment her by calling her to come to him. She didn't want to go, but would give in and stare at me to save her. He was jealous of one of the cats that would be very loving to me... .the other one I considered his, because the cat would be loving one minute and go to bite you the next! My ex would grab him and hold him tight to try and control him if the cat was being aggressive. My ex wanted to dominate him. Sound like we may have another thing in common here... .the pets seem to know when something is off.

[Herodias]

It was brought up in another thread about pets... .made me think. My dog loved him because he would play with her first thing when he came in the door-every day. But later when he would drink, she didn't want to be around him. She hated hiccups! When he realized she didn't want to be around him, he would torment her by calling her to come to him. She didn't want to go, but would give in and stare at me to save her. He was jealous of one of the cats that would be very loving to me... .the other one I considered his, because the cat would be loving one minute and go to bite you the next! My ex would grab him and hold him tight to try and control him if the cat was being aggressive. My ex wanted to dominate him. Sound like we may have another thing in common here... .the pets seem to know when something is off.

[Teereese]

So true Herodias.

We had dogs and all of them reacted badly to ex, they never knew what to expect from him. For my ex, it was about control, domination and possession. He liked to own pets but did not want to have much to do with taking care of them and spent more time yelling at them than anything else. He would get very upset when they did not do as he wanted.

He liked to buy pets and would show them off like trophies. When it came to vet visits, grooming, feeding or any other responsibility, he wanted no part of it.

I have an older female dog, who cowered in his presence. She was scared of him but he would call her and she would go to him, much like how you describe, looking at me or the kids to save her. Looking back, he really only pet or played with our dogs if others were present. It was really all a show.

[Herodias]

Yes, here too... .No responsibility for them. Left his parents to care for his cat. Left me to take all the animals even when he insisted on getting them in the separation. Then told me he wasn't responsible enough for them. His gf got him a cat-he  probably told her I wouldn't let him have his... .

[GreenEyedMonster]

My ex loves cats and had some as pets -- all young kittens.  He would send me selfies of one of them perched on his shoulder.  I have a cat also, but he is a furry little old man and his nickname is Speedbump.  Needless to say he is not the picture of motivation.  When my ex came over and met him, Speedbump gave his hand one sniff and reacted with total disinterest (as he would to pretty much anyone).

I thought my ex would be thrilled to sit on the floor and pet the kitty, but instead he said, "Your cat doesn't like me."  Well, the cat was right not to get excited.

[Herodias]

LOL... .they never think anyone or any pet likes them! My ex kept thinking my dog missed my ex bf from before we met... .since he was the one who brought her home... .(her father)... .funny.