My ex may be pregnant

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

ExBPDgf broke up with me about one month ago.

[If you want to know the full story, check my previous posts]

I checked her twitter today and I saw a picture of her with her breasts out where she is squeezing on her nipple with what think looks like breast milk? I don't know if it's a joke or what and she wrote

"If there are any vegans out there craving some milk, drop by my house and pick up a carton of mine, no animals were harmed I guarantee it "

and

"who wants to come over for some milk?"

From what I have heard when I was able to contact her was that it didn't work out with the replacement who is a transwoman.

My ex told me she would never get with this woman seriously because she is too depressing to be with and also

wanted to be friends with me to help her find a new date.

I know we went through this before but thinking she might be pregnant is making me feel sick to my stomach.

She cheated on me and all I am thinking about is how the replacement is the other mother of this child IF she is pregnant.

My own trusted friend is keeping tabs in case this is a false alarm but still, I feel so sick and I am sure breasts won't lactate if you aren't pregnant?

Has anybody experienced an exBPD getting pregnant right after a break up? Or anything similar to this?

I am still doing NC. I am shocked. This is a nightmare.

I keep thinking, this is why she dumped me. She was so ashamed.

Her life is a public display anyway so she probably knows I can see that.

Any advice on how I can feel better and stay strong?

[Curiously1]

ExBPDgf broke up with me about one month ago.

[If you want to know the full story, check my previous posts]

I checked her twitter today and I saw a picture of her with her breasts out where she is squeezing on her nipple with what think looks like breast milk? I don't know if it's a joke or what and she wrote

"If there are any vegans out there craving some milk, drop by my house and pick up a carton of mine, no animals were harmed I guarantee it "

and

"who wants to come over for some milk?"

From what I have heard when I was able to contact her was that it didn't work out with the replacement who is a transwoman.

My ex told me she would never get with this woman seriously because she is too depressing to be with and also

wanted to be friends with me to help her find a new date.

I know we went through this before but thinking she might be pregnant is making me feel sick to my stomach.

She cheated on me and all I am thinking about is how the replacement is the other mother of this child IF she is pregnant.

My own trusted friend is keeping tabs in case this is a false alarm but still, I feel so sick and I am sure breasts won't lactate if you aren't pregnant?

Has anybody experienced an exBPD getting pregnant right after a break up? Or anything similar to this?

I am still doing NC. I am shocked. This is a nightmare.

I keep thinking, this is why she dumped me. She was so ashamed.

Her life is a public display anyway so she probably knows I can see that.

Any advice on how I can feel better and stay strong?

[Stripey77]

Yes, you can lactate a milk like substance, pregnant or not, and it's possible to 'express' this by squeezing.  Look it up online - it's perfectly possible.

This is attention seeking behaviour of the HIGHEST order.  I bet it's nothing else. I mean good GOD Almighty, who on earth would announce their pregnancy in such a way? Realllly? Do you believe it? If she is pregnant (bet you she's not) that is nothing short of bizarre. Weird, weird weird. Try not to let it eat you up, that really is such disturbing behaviour, I think you've had a lucky escape my friend. 

[WoundedBibi]

1) calm down

2) calm down, and

3) calm down.

Now read Stripey77's comment and breath deeply.

Okay... .

Whether she is pregnant or not the reason the relationship didn't work is because your ex has BPD and you are a codependent. Your ex may have given you a million reasons why (I don't think you really love me, because you go psycho when I all I do is cheat on you, because the moon is in Pluto, because gravity doesn't work sideways) but that doesn't mean any of them hold any truth. And no your ex has not 'cured' her BPD on her own; it's a mental illness not something you can cure with a herbal remedy, breathing exercises or standing on your head 12 times a day.

Whether your ex is pregnant or not most BPDs want attention as being alone confronts them with them and their inner pain. So if she has very little friends and she knows you are easy to manipulate what better way to get YOU to move out of NC by posting something shocking?

DON'T take the bait!

If she is pregnant it has got nothing to do with you. And breaking NC will not contribute to your healing.

I know it is really really really hard, and I of all people have no right to say this after falling off my no-Google resolution, but real NC means no Twitter or FB lookups, no Whatsapp checking, no Googling etc. Not looking for any signs of life, not just not talking, texting etc.

Could you block her so you are not confronted with her cries for attention?

[Stripey77]

... .if you don't mind me adding, Bibi, I don't think we even need to add that any of our relationships didn't work because we are 'co-dependents'. To a degree, I would say I was, but as much as I was deeply in love with my boyfriend, as much as he rocked my world and made me weak at the knees, I somehow managed to find the strength to say no and stand up for myself. When he ranted and raved at me on Christmas day, I literally physically walked away and haven't spoken to him since. My heart was utterly broken, and I am still sad about it, but I don't think it's quite fair to say that we all 'co-dependent'. I didn't hang around to hear any more. Even though of course I want nothing more in this world than for him to talk to me, I know that this has roughly the same odds of happening, or not happening, ever again. I'm not revolving my life around it. I think it's sufficient to say that the reason our relationships failed is because one of the people in it has BPD. That in itself is quite enough to make a relationship fail. Only a saint, a martyr, or someone with personality problems of their own could possibly hope to hold down such a relationship long term... .I don't think we need to be unkind to ourselves by attaching labels to us as well, that might not necessarily be right. We could just be unfortunates who got temporarily caught up in a tangled web. I suppose it depends how long we allow/allowed it to continue...

[WoundedBibi]

I didn't say everyone who gets into a relationship with a pwBPD is a codependent, Stripey. Curiously1 in an earlier post wrote she is a codependent. That added to the dynamic of their relationship and is part of why their relationship didn't work.

[Stripey77]

Aha... .got you. Fair enough!

[Curiously1]

Hi all,

Thank you for reminding me stay calm about this and remain NC.

Yes these kinds of shocking things does make me want to contact her and I am sure she knows I saw that

and in the past I would have taken a bait.

Perhaps she is surprised she has not heard from me.

Remember last time when I wanted a recycle?

I read on her twitter she is not over me so I thought that message was for me and I could contact her but I was wrong...

Whether she is pregnant or not isn't my problem anymore. It may have been induced by a drug like Stripey77 has said.

She bought breast pumps etc. with the replacement when she did try dating her a month ago.

Unfortunately they are still 'friends' but I know it's just because my ex doesn't want to face her self alone and needs any company she can get.

and like my story goes, my ex wants to be my friend too because I still have some use for her.

My theory is that she is trying to escape the friend and meet someone new and she doesn't have a lot of avenues to do so, so there is her idea of clubbing with me.

The friend probably doesn't know how my ex treated me when she discarded me.

The day my ex gets into a r/s I am sure she will not care about the friend as much as she needs her now.

My other guess for her not contacting me (despite being  afriend in her eyes), is that her friend is less threatening to her and less triggering.

I do have codependent tendencies but I've learnt to stick up for myself, and tell her things that bother me. I didn't act like a doormat but she was still able to plant a lot of self-doubt in me and she probably knows I think a lot about the things she tells me. She knows I take the blame. Even if I stand my ground, I consider taking the blame because from her perspective I know I am exactly that. Always in the wrong and always consider other peoples perspectives.

My ex and the friend are perfect together right now.

The friend does not have any friends at all and very low-self esteem and has trouble with dating.

My ex (despite not wanting her long-term) loves that full attention while she goes on searching for a new partner.

Esesntially they are both alone, lonely and have some common ground.

It's amazing how my ex can put up with settling for less, and more unhappy just for the sake of having someone there. She doesn't have any regard to her friends feelings for her and will continue to use her.

I feel that my ex also feels responsible for the replacement too, because of her trans issues? But I don't know.

Also if she is pregnant, then yeah, that's their issues now and I'm never going to take my ex back... .

[Stripey77]

Hi... .Glad you're working through this.

Just wanted to clarify something though, you attributed a theory to me about your ex inducing her symptoms with a drug... .but that's not what I said. I said that it is possible, what you were asking... .I certainly don't know anything about drugs being a part of it, to be totally honest. I think you should look it up online, it is possible for the breast to 'express' substance from the milk glands without a pregnancy. I still stand by what I said though, she is attention seeking. And that is not not not normal behaviour.

[khibomsis]

Curiously, glad to hear you have calmed down! Pregnant or not your ex comes across as bats--t crazy. Who does something like that? Of course I am old and don't know what the young dykes are up to nowadays but surely even for your generation that behaviour is extreme? I am sure with time you will realize that you have dodged a bullet. In the meantime, how are you with you? Have you made your peace with what happened, are you able to see the possibility of a light at the end of the tunnel? The only person you can change is yourself. I wish you well on that journey. , khib