I haven't had any contact with mine in 11 days now and im getting weak. I don't know if I wait her out or contact her and apologize for
"my part" in our break up. if she doesn't want to hear from me it will push her further away. if she does want to hear from me she'll use the power advantage to play her game. if I wait and do hear from her in any way im in good shape, but that may never happen. I don't know what to do. typical situation we found ourselves in with a borderline. always strategizing. its exhausting dating them and apparently exhausting being without them also.
. mine thinks that she owns anyone she has ever dated. so to reach out first just reinforces her belief. but she is also extremely proud and wont test her own belief by reaching out if she thinks there is a chance you wont reciprocate. its an extremely delicate balance. ive seen her chase an ex who she lost control of for weeks and then she starts calling me as soon as she has him under control. its amazing. sometimes I play out in my head what getting back together would look like and reality creeps in and it always looks like more stress and fights and her silent treatments, etc. not sure why we put ourselves through this. it never ends well it seems. its just a merry go round. I have the added battle of having an exBPDgf that wants to be fully taken care of financially. and since shes so attractive she doesn't have a problem finding someone to do that. she is 35. I just wonder where she will be in 10 years. there is no way she can make a long term marriage or relationship work. she cant get through 3 months without freaking out. will she still be doing the same thing then? she is also NPD and they usually get worse.
I think you just play it cool and see if she contacts you, but I don't know your situation like you do and what has worked with her in the past. they are smart and do recognize patterns. personally I think that you get it in your head that if you are going to be in a relationship like this that you have to say what you want from it and stick to it. that doesn't mean you tell her that neccesarily, but you live it with your actions.
mine cheated and I kicked her out of my home. so the message I hope she got was. If im going to be in a relationship with him he expects me to be faithful and not lie every 5 minutes. if that kills the relationship then maybe that's best. because even if I miss her like crazy, I cant live like that. I know its not just me. all of her relationships end badly and sometimes violently. maybe I can be the one that treated her right, but eventually got my respect back and put up boundaries and be the one that got away. who knows. usually whatever I think she is thinking, the reality is just the opposite.
