Hurting...again

[Joe1290]

Hi Everyone:

I went on vacation to see some relatives... .I'm lying here with tears streaming down my face. I can't stop thinking about a woman who left me over a year ago! I feel very alone tonight.

[patientandclear]

It's not surprising or at all unusual. These are loaded bonds, as an article on this site calls them. People don't typically walk away un-scarred.

Women in my ex's past (of whom I learned only after he courted and then left me) used words like "devastated" to explain how they felt in his wake. Certainly true of me too. If I build up over a year without engaging him I will be in new territory and maybe will be past the point where it brings me to tears, but I'm not there yet. What you're going through is normal and seems to result from the gap between what we thought was true and the way reality plays out. Very hard to accept.

[C.Stein]

Just when you think you are getting past it all, the pain and memories come crashing back and blind side you.  I'm at about 9.5 months and am still experiencing all the emotions I was at 2 months out, just not nearly as intense.  Still find myself with tears in my eyes on numerous occasions every day, though not really sure why.  Everything fades with time though.  Believe it will get better.  

[troisette]

 

Hello Joe

My experience is similar to C.Stein's. I'm 8 months nc, still experiencing the emotions but they are now muted.

Did anything on your vacation act as a trigger for your tears? Discussion of her with relatives or past memories?

I know from past experience with an NPD that it does pass but it takes time and it's not linear. 

[Joe1290]

I had some downtime... .Facebook mainly triggered me

[hurting300]

Hi Everyone:

I went on vacation to see some relatives... .I'm lying here with tears streaming down my face. I can't stop thinking about a woman who left me over a year ago! I feel very alone tonight.

Gosh man I'm so sorry. We have all been there, I can't begin to describe to you how many days and nights I cried my eyes out. This gets better. Keep posting, go out and meet people and please don't let this person ruin your beautiful life! She doesn't deserve you that's why it didn't work out. Your soulmate is out there looking for you. I found mine and I am so happy.