Possibly getting back together - Need input

[myselfandi]

So my ex bf and I are possibly getting back together. To give a little background info, he has been diagnosed with depression, ptsd and BPD (on the lower end of the spectrum). He definitely has the traits of BPD where he wants to run from anything that is difficult and he goes into fits of rage. We have been together a year and a half with the last two months being very rocky. We have been in two breakups in the last couple months and this last breakup has been for a few weeks. He gets himself very worked up and confused and upset with the wide range of emotions he feels. He continually expresses how much he loves me but becomes unsure if he is ready for our relationship to continue. But then he will express that he thinks he is making the biggest mistake of his life and he doesn't want to lose me and what we have. We have reconnected and we have decided to approach the situation differently this time. We are going to hangout and keep things light and fun and keep the serious stuff out of it. If we both get to the point where we feel we want to continue the relationship, we will start talking about the tough issues and hopefully come to a resolution (ie. Him seeking therapy). I'm nervous that I'm just setting myself up for failure but I truly love him so much and he has a heart of gold. He is just really mentally struggling  I'm very close with his family and they are all wanting us to be together and for him to really pull it together. But he has to want to get help for him, not for our relationship. Does anyone out there have any positive feedback on a gentle approach to getting back together?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Turkish]

It sounds like you love him very much 

How has he dealt with his diagnoses, especially BPD? Keeping things light and fun is a good initial plan. Have you seen the lessons to the right of the board? Understanding what he's going through can help you immensely. Shame is a powerful and debilitating emotion for anyone, but more so for a pwBPD, whose emotions are often uncontrollable, and who think in black and white terms (all good or all bad). Therapy isn't necessarily a panacea because he needs to stick with it. Committed patients, ideally with the support of loved ones, do make progress.

You can encourage and support, but in the end it's his decision to seek treatment and stay with it. This may be a confusing, possibly frightening stage for him. Perhaps this can help:

Anosognosia and Getting a "Borderline" into Treatment

As for his family, one can't blame them for feeling that way, but neither you nor him are responsible for their feelings. The kindest and most helpful thing for them to do would be to step back and support him, not so much the r/s. Seeing him as a person in psin and validating his feelings is more helpful than telling him how awesome you are (even if it's true 

Turkish

[myselfandi]

Thanks Turkish!

Initially the diagnosis upset him but it also made him relieved to know what he was dealing with. He started a medication for a few weeks but didn't like how he was feeling so he stopped. He received a list of therapists that specialize in what he has but he never looked further into it. Nor has he educated himself on what he is going through. I know he hopes that someday this will just go away but he also knows that it won't. He just isn't 100% ready to deal with it. I've done lots of lessons and one of the biggest things I've taken from them is validation. I use to always deal with arguments completely wrong in regards to BPD. I now know if we had a disagreement that I would have a much different approach. I'm going to continue to be supportive and loving. I'm praying we get to a place where we can get through this tough time. I hope I'm not hopeless  I'm definitely scared.