Complete melt down

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

It has been a while sense my last post,  and I have been doing really well up untill 3 weeks ago.

I woke up one more thinking a out everything and had alot of anxiety about my ex,  then I was out on the weekend and she had to walk past me with no hello or anything but just looked away and kept walking,  my friend was at the bar later and he said she just wouldn't t stop looking at him like starring maybe giving  him dirty looks her wasn't really sure,  anyway we left the bar and went to a different one only to be there about 15 mins and again she showed up again starring my friends down,  so I just went home but on my way home a friend decided to tell me that her new 19 yo boyfriend,  mind you she is 34 with a 14 yo boy,  anyway he told me that her bf is now her ex bf because he sheared on her.  I could feel it in my heart that 3 weeks ago something wasn't right,  and so it  goes I was right.  Sense we split up my ex BPD gf hasn't aloud me to see her son at all,  we were together six years and I was very close to her son,  so anyway it been exactly one year and 2 weeks sense we split up and I've gone I to super melt down,  I guess I was always hoping that she would let me see her son again once she was single again but there has been nothing at all,  it's really affecting me.  I also guess I was hoping that see would at least reach out to me deep down and after seeing her one the weekend and everything it's made it all come back I feel like I did when we first split up,  I just don't really know what to do,  I'm having trouble moving on again I though I was ok but I'm definitely not.

[helpmewithbpd]

It has been a while sense my last post,  and I have been doing really well up untill 3 weeks ago.

I woke up one more thinking a out everything and had alot of anxiety about my ex,  then I was out on the weekend and she had to walk past me with no hello or anything but just looked away and kept walking,  my friend was at the bar later and he said she just wouldn't t stop looking at him like starring maybe giving  him dirty looks her wasn't really sure,  anyway we left the bar and went to a different one only to be there about 15 mins and again she showed up again starring my friends down,  so I just went home but on my way home a friend decided to tell me that her new 19 yo boyfriend,  mind you she is 34 with a 14 yo boy,  anyway he told me that her bf is now her ex bf because he sheared on her.  I could feel it in my heart that 3 weeks ago something wasn't right,  and so it  goes I was right.  Sense we split up my ex BPD gf hasn't aloud me to see her son at all,  we were together six years and I was very close to her son,  so anyway it been exactly one year and 2 weeks sense we split up and I've gone I to super melt down,  I guess I was always hoping that she would let me see her son again once she was single again but there has been nothing at all,  it's really affecting me.  I also guess I was hoping that see would at least reach out to me deep down and after seeing her one the weekend and everything it's made it all come back I feel like I did when we first split up,  I just don't really know what to do,  I'm having trouble moving on again I though I was ok but I'm definitely not.

[Lucky Jim]

I also guess I was hoping that see would at least reach out to me deep down and after seeing her one the weekend and everything it's made it all come back I feel like I did when we first split up,  I just don't really know what to do,  I'm having trouble moving on again I though I was ok but I'm definitely not.

Hey helpme, I think its normal and quite common for the Non to harbor some hope that the BPD Ex will reach out to him/her.  It's part of the need for closure, I suspect.  Yet I wouldn't hold your breath.  Waiting for someone suffering from BPD to respond with warmth after a b/u is a vigil unto death and unlikely to happen.  I suggest that you let her go, as hard as that is.  I predict that, as time moves on, you will be grateful to have moved on from a BPD r/s.

LuckyJim

[helpmewithbpd]

I feel I was hoping that when it ended that I may be able to spend some time with her son,  see him again I think that is one of my biggest problems atm,  I was waiting for her to separate hoping she would allow me to but no that it hasn't happened I'm bad at stage one of the break up again