Talking to my BPD adult child

[Prism]

I don't seem to be able to give my daughter the support she needs when we start discussing her feelings. Help!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Huat]

Hello Prism:
You do the best you can do with the information you have at the time... .and you do your homework along the way to get more/better informed.  Sometimes you hit it lucky when you are communicating with your BPD and you strike a cord.  Other times... .(sigh!)... .

This is exhausting work!  Sadly there are no easy answers for any of us.  We just keep trying and we reach out for support and ideas from others.

So... .to the right of this screen you will see all sorts of information to help you on your way.  You can see, by reading on this website, that you are not alone.  Others have similar struggles.  Join in and get your support... .and give your support to others.  Bottom line is to look after yourself... .and be confident in knowing that you are doing the best you can with your BPD. 

Give yourself a hug... .and here is a (hug) from me.

[Lollypop]

Hi there prism

Welcome to the forum.

My eldest son 25 is my BPD in my life. He internalises his feelings generally and doesn't rage. This trait has made it difficult for me to better understand how he feels and what he thinks.  He returned home mid-Dec following a crisis. I've been on this forum ever since and it's been a life saver for my family. Not perfect by any means, but we're inching forward improving communication and he does feel safe to open up at times.  At first, I rarely asked any questions as i didn't have the skills to deal with his responses (if I got any at all).  I concentrated on providing an environment that was relaxed, supportive and improving my own communication skills as I started to realise his limitations. I try and pick the right moments which I found to be tricky early on. Also, I realised he tested me out for reactions; I had to prove myself.

I practised using the skills and tools in this site. I continue to read. As I understand more, the less reactive I become and this has significantly improved our relationship.

How old is your daughter?

Is she in treatment?

Does she live independently or with you?

Take care of yourself

L