Looking for a mother figure

[Evermore]

Looking to connect with a mother type figure. My momvhas been gone since 92 and miss having that around enen though when she was there we were never close. I just wanna know how it would be

[Kwamina]

Hi Evermore

Your mom has been gone for a long time. You miss having a mother type figure around and also mention that you were never close with your mother.

Could you tell us a bit more about the relationship you had with your mother?

Are you currently dealing with someone in your life who might have BPD traits? I see you mention your step father in your profile, do you believe he has BPD traits?

Take care and welcome to bpdfamily

[busybee1116]

  and welcome!

Were you close to your mom? My uBPDmom has never been particularly nurturing or caring, at least in the way I needed, or the way most moms are. I've also craved mothering. I've found it in suppirtive female friendships, female mentors and my therapist. Yoga and time in my hot tub also feel nurturing and mothering to me. When I float in my tub, I feel like I'm being held. Kind of sad to think my hot tub feels more loving and warm than my own living mother, but it helps do I don't care!

[flower211]

It always fascinated me how similar so many emotions I feel to the persons who post on these message boards.

I, too, long for a loving, supportive mother figure. My uBPD mom cannot be that for me, and so I look for it (however consciously or unconsciously) in others. This has led to many unhealthy relationships, until I finally recognized the pattern and saw the need within myself.

As a mom of 3 and someone who also feels the loss of a mother, I am here for you.

Sending you *hugs* and *love*

[Fie]

Hello Evermore  

Also I know what  you are talking about. I never had a real mum.

Somehow I learned to live with it. And I have a few really great female friends. Most of them are a bit older, and are quite wise. Maybe that's because I see some kind of mother figure in them - you are making me wonder.

But of course it's not the same. I do have a mother, but she does not behave like one. I am at the point of realizing she will never.

You are not alone with your feelings