Can anyone identify ?

[Parents! Get help here!]

Hi,
My daughter is in treatment for BPD. the diagnosis is particularly hard to handle because my mother ( who has not spoken to anyone in our family for four years) has BPD and Narcissism. I feel very guilty for my negative feelings towards my daughter, but she has brought me so much pain... .I love her but I usually don't like her and I sure don't trust her.  

[jlm]

Hi,
My daughter is in treatment for BPD. the diagnosis is particularly hard to handle because my mother ( who has not spoken to anyone in our family for four years) has BPD and Narcissism. I feel very guilty for my negative feelings towards my daughter, but she has brought me so much pain... .I love her but I usually don't like her and I sure don't trust her.  

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Huat]

Hello jlm and welcome!
YES, YES, YES... .I certainly do identify with you! 

Our daughter has caused us much pain over the last 35-or-so years.  Buckets of tears have been shed because of her.  She will always be loved... .but not always liked.   Because of all the "surprise attacks" we have received in the past, it is hard to trust her.  We have been counselled that her verbal abuse could turn to physical abuse... .so we are very careful with our boundaries in relation to her.

It is nice to read that your daughter is in treatment.  That is not the case with a lot of parents (including us) on this discussion board.  Putting a guilt trip on yourself will not help in her recovery and it certainly will not help you.  If you feel in the past you could-have-should-have done things differently (this really pertains to all of us)... .this website will give you lots of info on how to change.  When you know better... .you will do better.   ; )

[Gorges]

THere were many years that I did not like my daughter and some of her actions have been very offensive. NOthing tests a parent's love like BPD.

BUt, we still must love each other because we still want a relationship and hope for the best.

acknowledge your feelings, they are understandable. You can set boundaries but still love your daughter.