my 22 year old son has BPD

[snowbaby1957]

I am a single parent with a 22 year old son that has BPD along with other disorders.  I lost my husband my sons father.  My son was only 5 years old when he was told he had lung cancer.  For 2 years of my sons life he watched his dad dying my son has never been the same since.  He is very dependant on marijuna. I need help knowing how to communicate with him, and deal with the amount of money he needs for marijuna.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Mutt]

Hi snowbaby1957,



I would like to welcome you to bpdfamily   I'm sorry to hear about your husband. I lost my mother when I was a little older than your son to cancer, it's traumatic losing a parent at a young age and it's also not easy for the significant other either. Was your son diagnosed with BPD? To answer your question about your son's finances, we have to set the boundary on ourselves when a loved one suffers from mental illness or has dependency issues and set limits. How are you coping? Are family and friends supportive?

Setting Boundaries and Setting Limits

[snowbaby1957]

My  family does not understand my sons mental illness they just think I have not raised him correctly.  Basically I should have not spoiled him after his father died but I felt so sorry for him losing his daddy that I tried to make up for it.  I am just trying to say that my family has not been to nice to him.

[Mutt]

I understand. No one is to blame for your son's BPD. I think that what is important is learning as much as we can about the disorder to depersonalize the behaviors and to understand why our loved ones do the things that they do. I'm sorry that your family has not been supportive and understanding of you and your son. I would feel sad if my family was not treating my child nicely. How are they not nice to him?

[wendydarling]

Hi Snowbaby1957

I want to join Mutt in welcoming you to the parenting board, glad you found us.  I'm so sorry you and your son have had a tough time, losing his Dad and you your husband.  I joined 6 months ago and have found the tools and lessons to the right very helpful together with the support from all the kind folk here, it's made a massive difference to the quality of my life and how I can better communicate with and support my 27 year old daughter.  We are all learning together. Has / is your son receiving any medical treatment? And how are you coping, it's important we look after ourselves?

WDx