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Caretaking - What is it all about?
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD
Blame - why we do it?
Brené Brown, PhD
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Alan Fruzzetti, PhD
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Author Topic: Just found out my BPDx was engaged to two people... AT THE SAME TIME  (Read 508 times)
hopealways
aka moving4ward
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 725


« on: March 19, 2017, 01:29:01 PM »

Well over 5 years since we met, and 1.5 years since we broke up, I just learned from a close mutual friend that it was even worse than I thought: she was engaged to 2 men AT THE SAME TIME before me. When they found out they both dumped her, then one of them got her back, got re-engaged with her, that lasted about 8 months before she started cheating on him with lucky ME! 

Gosh, I guess it does vindicate my suspicions about her all along, but during the detachment phase it still saddens me to have wanted things to work out so badly with someone SO damaged.

Anyone else out there find out super scandalous things about their ex during the detachment process? And how did it make you feel? I do think in the end it will greatly help me continue to detach.
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UnforgivenII
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 316



« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2017, 03:29:28 PM »

I hope I will in the future. For now, it is already horrible to deal with my -justified- gut suspicions. They are all I can handle at the moment.
I have decided to move. I cannot face even the idea of looking at him.

I wish I was stronger and more detached.
Good for you to find out. Your strength has been often an inspiration for me on this board.
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hopealways
aka moving4ward
*****
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 725


« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2017, 03:44:07 PM »

I hope I will in the future. For now, it is already horrible to deal with my -justified- gut suspicions. They are all I can handle at the moment.
I have decided to move. I cannot face even the idea of looking at him.

I wish I was stronger and more detached.
Good for you to find out. Your strength has been often an inspiration for me on this board.
Thank you so much for the kind words, it means a lot to be able to help others here.
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