things she do

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I am an artist and are getting established internationally. I retired from my 'real' job years ago to take care of my BPD. She is not aware that I know about her condition. She was a high ranking military officer before BPD destroyed her career. Here is some of her tricks. ':)on't walk with your hands in your pocket, you look like a civilian'. I keep my hand in my pocket. Open a door when you smoke. I ignore that. Your cupboard looks like a whorehouse and not inspection ready.' Real men get up early and leave for work. You spent to much on your looks. You will fail at work because you have anger issues/ a drinking problem/ drug problem/ are a loser/ slacker / sexual pervert/ violent/ abusive towards women and on and on. Still no reaction from me. So in the end I'm basically NC.

[adaw]

I am an artist and are getting established internationally. I retired from my 'real' job years ago to take care of my BPD. She is not aware that I know about her condition. She was a high ranking military officer before BPD destroyed her career. Here is some of her tricks. ':)on't walk with your hands in your pocket, you look like a civilian'. I keep my hand in my pocket. Open a door when you smoke. I ignore that. Your cupboard looks like a whorehouse and not inspection ready.' Real men get up early and leave for work. You spent to much on your looks. You will fail at work because you have anger issues/ a drinking problem/ drug problem/ are a loser/ slacker / sexual pervert/ violent/ abusive towards women and on and on. Still no reaction from me. So in the end I'm basically NC.

[waverider]

Still no reaction from me.

So she ups the volume as she thinks you are not hearing

So in the end I'm basically NC.

She has the wheel and you have your hands in your pockets. So it can go anywhere except crazy town by default.
Do you want it to go anywhere else? If so how can you add your influence to steer it there?

[adaw]

Quite surprising it is steering away from crazy town to reality she shares her real concerns instead of the usual hogwash she usually shared

[Lucky Jim]

Hey adaw, Consider the source: those w/BPD are highly unreliable and are usually making critical comments just to get a reaction out of you.  Yet you didn't engage, which is impressive.  Keep doing what you're doing'!

LJ