I remember having a conversation with my ex, he told me that sex just a sport to him and if it's s fling or a relationship they will get the exact same treatment cause "it's just fun". He went on to saying The only difference between the two is "I'm in a relationship or I'm not, but the sex is the same, just fun"
Not knowing the details of your story and relationship, I can't comment on your ex specifically. But, in my experience, a person might say these kinds of things to try to convince themselves. I know my ex would sometimes talk about past relationships or experiences in the most glib terms. In hindsight, I can see she was trying to convince herself, or maybe she was fully sincere
in the moment, but her comments certainly didn't tell the whole story. One example: I once pointed out to her that the wedding website she had created with her ex-fiancé was still up, although she had called off the wedding and moved out. Her response: "Everything on that website is a lie. It's all bulls**t. The whole relationship was a lie."
She had been with this guy for three years, lived together for two, and they had been engaged for over a year. I know my ex thought she was in love with him at some point, and felt he was her future when they got engaged. But she just walked away by telling him she wasn't in love with him anymore (after she started with me, which I'm not proud of now) and blocked out all the unresolved emotion by convincing herself she was simply "wrong" about what she had felt, that it was all a "lie". I've heard her say similar things about sexual relationships. She might have had strong feelings at the time, but acted like she was able to completely brush the emotions aside.
I mean, I agree that sex can feel great whether it's with someone you love or a casual encounter. But the idea that when you're in love with someone or deeply infatuated or otherwise emotionally connected, you can suddenly turn that off during sex and it becomes "just a sport", the same as with a casual encounter ... .do you think that's really psychologically tenable? I don't know your ex, so you can answer that for his case. But generally when people say that being in love with someone doesn't change the feelings surrounding sex ... .I think they're trying to convince themselves of that and are repressing various emotions. Maybe scared to admit (even to themselves) that sex can involve an emotional connection as well. In this way, some of the most physically uninhibited people sexually are the most emotionally terrified/inhibited, and are unable to combine physical intimacy and emotional intimacy.
As I described in my last post, I think that may be in part what made my sex life so intense with my ex -- she was repressing a lot of emotion that she could only express physically. It made our physical connection explosive and intense and kinky in a way that maybe isn't possible when you're with someone who communicates openly and is capable of emotional intimacy. But I'm open to discovering what a sex life can be in the context of real emotional intimacy. It might different and feel unfamiliar to me. It might lack the sexual tension that can create instant sparks. But, speaking just for me, I'm willing to see where it can lead.
