Almost four years and the pain is still intense.

[huhhuh]

I don't know where to begin. It's almost four years and she just dissapeared from my life. Married to someone else and got two children with him. It still feels like a bad dream. Her husband is living the life I was supposed to live and I have to live in cold basement for the rest of my life. I have never loved a person so much and I have never worked so hard for anything in my life. It's just so unfair how it ends.

How can I ever love another person if I still love her? It shouldn't hurt so much after so long time should it?

Anyway since I have been here a long time I know most of the advise. Does anybody have any morbid jokes to cheer me up? Kind of like: "If you feel you live in hell now then just wait and see what happens if she comes back... .THEN you'll see how it is to live in hell"

[steelwork]

huhhuh, I'm so sorry you're still in so much pain. I don't have a joke for you. It's been a while for me (almost 2 years), and I still have rough days. Sometimes I think I still am in love with him, and yeah, how can you move on when you're still in love? I periodically go over the 10 false beliefs in this article:

https://bpdfamily.com/content/surviving-break-when-your-partner-has-borderline-personality

Do any of those resonate with you?

-- steelwork

[huhhuh]

You are right... Sadly it's necessary to read them again and it sure hurts to even read them. Truth hurts I guess.