BPD=she and me

[Anders]

Hello
I've been reading "Walking on Eggshells" and "Stop Caretaking... .". I've also seen a therapist a few years back.

I believe my wife has BPD. Her mother certainly does, in a huge way. My wife has a milder form, but it's still quite biting.

I also believe that I do as well. My dad was a very withholding type of BPD and the family competed for his affection. I was a very angry youngest child and my sister even once described dealing with me as "walking on eggshells" long before the book came out.

That said, we're raising two kids. I'm both trying to work on my on behavior which flares up when I'm tired or anxious, and work on my responses to my wife's attacks.

I've been actively addressing my own anxiety, health and sleep patterns.

Not sure where to go from here, except to continue to read the books and try to put some of the concepts in action. Theory is fine, but sometimes, in the trenches with bombs flying everywhere, it's tough.

Anyone in situations like this? As an aside, I don't consider separating to be a viable option.

Hello, and thanks.
Anders

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Anders]

Sorry, I didn't see that this was co-parenting after the split. I thought it was just co-parenting. If this can be moved to the appropriate section, that would be helpful.
Again, sorry.

[ArleighBurke]

Hi and welcome. This is on the "Improving a relationship board" - so it's good!

This site is for non-BPD people - to help their relationship. You have a BPD spouse so you fit - but if you have BPD yourself I think that will complicate things... .  Things that are written on this site can often be very painful to a BPD. What makes you suspect that you have BPD? Have you been formally diagnosed? Are you in any current therapy?