Anyway I found it odd that she said she needed stability when she is so unstable and started by far most of the fights or kept them going even after I would apologize and want to quit fighting.
Maybe she is aware of, or at least senses on some level, all the instability she carries with her, and craves stability? My ex would sometimes tell me how much she loved it if I put my foot down when she got out of line. Of course, other times she would rage and push through all boundaries. But it makes sense that an unstable person would crave stability.
Do you think by stability she meant that previous partners were more willing to ignore or accept her awful behavior than I was? Any thoughts on this?
Maybe. Or maybe just the opposite -- maybe they set firmer boundaries. Or maybe she behaved just the same with them, and craves stability in all her relationships, while being unable to refrain from undermining it herself.
What do you hope to gain by answering this question? Will it change how you approach your next relationship? Or how you move forward in the meantime?