Processing Thanksgiving

[Andrea2]

Hello,

I imagine I am not alone in writing about the holidays. 

It is difficult for me to distance myself from my extended family.  When things are good, it feels really great.  When emotions switch, it's hard to manage the feelings of emptiness and despair that come along with it.  Last year, the extended family had a great Thanksgiving. This year, the mood changed and it felt like my SIL did everything to make sure she controlled how much time we would spend together as an extended family.  Given a history of painful behaviors from her, I have no reason to trust her.  I also don't have much reason to trust my brother, who can also switch from being caring and thoughtful to completely gone emotionally and physically.  I don't want to walk out on my brother and his kids, but feel I'm often left with little alternative/choice other than going into protective mode. 

While I understand these behaviors are not about me, they deeply impact me.  I am reading through the various guides provided on this board for self-help.

Thanks in advance for all of your support.

With gratitude,
Andrea2

[drained1996]

 

Welcome Andrea2, you are definitely not alone in your Thanksgiving reflections.  It's good to see you've already noticed the lessons available here!  Lots to learn and lots to process as well! 
I couldn't really tell from what you shared, who is the BPD?  brother or SIL?

While I understand these behaviors are not about me, they deeply impact me.

Very good of you to know that the behaviors are not about you!  If you know they are not about you, do you think you can find a way to process them that will lessen the negative impact on you? 

Keep sharing!