Hello IMatWitsEnd,

Sorry to hear about the difficulties you are having in your marriage, it's a very familiar story here. You have found the right place for knowledge, understanding and sharing. You are not alone in the challenges you face which will be very evident if you look through the stories shared by others. One thing many of us have learned is that we cannot change them, but we can change how we react to and communicate with them. It's reassuring to see that you comprehend you may need to modify your communication. To the right of this page you will see the basic tools, this will help give you some fundamentals you may begin to use to help improve your situation. Just like anything else, it takes practice and patience, so don't get too frustrated with yourself if you feel like you make a wrong move along the way. We all have I can assure you!
Have you thought about seeking out a therapist to help guide you along the way? Many here have found a good professional a very helpful in their journey.
I personally found that sharing here was very therapeutic, consequently, the more I shared the more I got in return. Feel free to post anything... .questions, how you are feeling etc. You've found the right place.