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[shimmieshimshim]

So I've been reading like crazy on here the last few months after i figured out my woman has BPD (ten years on and off ). 4 months since she left, 2 months since last contact from her, and a month and a half from me (yea I couldnt resist sending some small light texts) Anyway, today she sent me a request to a word game i started playing on my phone to play me in a game, so I accepted and we have been playing. At first it seemed like we was both trying to find ways to make words that had some sort of meaning which is hard in this game so its kind of funny. Later tonight when she started back playing i sent a message and asked if she played any other games and she replied that she didnt know any other ones. First contact in four months so I'm sort of surprised because in the past its been around 4-8 months before i hear from her after she leaves and this time like all the rest before I figured out what I was dealing with i thought it was the last I'd ever hear from her. After playing a few more rounds tonight she sent another message and said she had to plug up her phone and would play her turn later, I sent a light reply back saying ok and that I was enjoying the game. Is there anything to read from this or am I just reading too much into this myself and its just her wanting to play the game? Sorry maybe i am and am asking a silly question but any replies would be appreciated, thanks.

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[drained1996]

Hey shimmieshimshim, you know about BPD I've read that in your posts.  Do you think she might just be reaching out to check to make sure there is still a connection?  Something she has obviously done in the past to you. 

I'm fairly sure you know what's happening... .correct? And I'm pretty sure your history shows what will happen if you continue this path. 

Don't you think you deserve better?

Not trying to be to harsh, but you've clearly stated what you've seen and experienced with her... .

[shimmieshimshim]

Thanks for the reply. No I'm not exactly sure what is going on... this seems different because before when she would come back she would send a text then we would get up and get back together. This time i didnt shut down quickly because i knew she had a problem but the way she had told me before made it seem like she was only bipolar so thought that what was going on then figured out it was both things. This time the ante is upped a bit more because we was about to get married and buy a home together where as before it was way simpler bf/gf type thing with no certain future outlook. I know in my head i feel dumb for wanting to give it another go but at the same time I feel like I'd like to give it one more shot now that i know what i'm dealing with and have been learning on ways to improve communication with her and such. For ten years i had no clue and i'm sure at times i wasnt validating and i know i have my own issues concerning lack of communication. Is this a slow attempt to get back with me or just a quick check in to see if I'm still around? like i said she's never taken a slow approach to come back, its always been a full steam ahead with the crying and i love you miss you type thing

[shimmieshimshim]

sorry if i'm not supposed to bump my thread but i wanted to add an update. We played a bit more today, started off just playing then i went for coffee and she messaged me wanting me to play my turn. I replied that i went for coffee and was about to get ready to take a shower and go for dinner and a movie. She said she wanted to see it too but has been busy, so i asked if she'd like to go see it with me. After about a hour she replied and said she couldnt because she had errands to run and such. I replied back and said that was ok i imagine she was pretty busy and to hit me up some time when shes free. any thoughts or advice?

[drained1996]

Any sort of communication no matter how small after being NC from them is typically testing the waters to see if there is a connection.  Does that mean she wants to get back together?  We have no way of knowing, but it is a way to soothe her own feelings... .whatever those may be at the moment. 

What would you like to have happen?  I see your head and your heart are in two different places.  Which do YOU think you should follow?

[shimmieshimshim]

well obviously i should listen to my head but my heart wants to give it one more go if i get the chance I always enjoyed our time together, never even realized there was a problem and now that i do id really like one more shot to see if the things ive learned could possibly help make a difference, maybe not but its better than wondering