im so new to all of this...and so very sad

[JacksMom]

My daughter is 30 and has 3 beautiful boys. Getting her 2nd divorce (NOT her fault)
We have had serious "drama" since she was... .well... .the major drama started in her teens.

anyway... .there have been some things happen in the past couple months that have really taken their toll on me/us... .and several of my friends who know mental health issues picked up on a few things I told them and all of them suggested BPD

now... .I'm overwhelmed with the sadness and fear as I explore this.

I am the one that gets the lashing out texts... .and her father is the person who has created all the problems in her eyes.
The truth is the BPD has apparently distorted everything.

i am afraid for her
i scared to death for the kids
i am sad beyond limits when I read other's stories that sound so similar and end up tragic
I am anxious because it does seem that my husband and I are "trapped" to care for her for years to come as her financial situation is so poor and the current symptoms are not conducive to her progressing on the path she wants to pursue.

it seems that this last year has added so much fuel to the symptoms of her BPD and its becoming apparent to me that this is what we are dealing with.

On her good days, she is the kindest, sweetest hardest working person who loves her boys.
On her bad days... .she is distant and angry and aloof to the point that i fear for the children's safety. 

i have a couple books and this site was referred to as a resource.

I am hoping that I can find help to help her... .and the boys.

I am only able to explore this a bit at a time because it is connecting dots in behavioral and family issues and explaining a lot of why we are in such pain as a family with her issues... .and its overwhelming to read how serious this all is... .and how damaging and potentially tragic it can get.

and... .sigh... .how hard it is to get the BPD person to get with AND STICK WITH treatment

I look forward to getting to know you and learn more and be a support to others.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[JacksMom]

right now I'm feeling that panicky feeling of being hopeless.

everything goes well if she gets her way... .but... .that isn't life

I'm scared.

I'm tired.

[Yepanotherone]

Hi there Jacks, big hugs to you as you delve into the wonders that is BPD . I visit here pretty much every day and like you , found myself feeling so very scared and anxious about all our futures as we tried to grapple with our new " normal " and our now modified future . I don't post very often but I'm still here
We've been having challenges with our DD 16 for the last 18 months and two years ago , if someone had told me this would be our life now , I simply wouldn't have believed it . I still go through stages of being in denial and hoping against hope that she'll " grow out of it " , but as time wears on and symptoms present more frequently , I know in my heart that it is what it is and it isn't going away !
You'll find lots of support and information here and while it's so scary initially to read of all the challenges families like us go through , it's also very comforting to know you're not alone x

[Studebaker]

I too am trying to figure all this out. Currently my daughter has ended contact with me, so it's given me a chance to slow down, learn, and get some peace in my life. I have been helping her financially for quite a while as working for her is very erratic I have 2 granddaughters andi miss them so much. She has moved to another state and won't allow me to speak tothem. My daughter is45 years old and college educated. It's not what I imagined for my life. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. All I can suggest is keep posting, keep reading, take care of yourself. I denied and made excuses for a long time. Sending love and hugs your wasy.

[JacksMom]

Thanks... .

Its all so new and we have been hitting quite a few rough patches lately... .and its the absolute fear that the sweetest little boys in the world aren't being parented by the woman she "could" be and "wants" to be

Im working my way thru the tools here and have another session with my therapist tomorrow ... .I'm just kinda tired i guess
Thank you so much